


captains (feat. friendship, memes, emotional stuff, and relationships)

by mukeandziamgotmelike



Series: captainy shenanigans [1]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Asexual Character, Chatting & Messaging, Daishou in a Skirt, Demisexuality, Everyone Is Gay, Fluff and Humor, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Gen, Homoromantic, Humor, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, LGBTQ Themes, M/M, Multi, Nail Polish, Relationship(s), bc im trash, chatfic, despite being a volleyball anime not much volleyball is discussed, general happiness, its sorta mentioned, lots of kisses, pretty much
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-06
Updated: 2016-09-06
Packaged: 2018-08-13 08:01:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 20,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7968757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mukeandziamgotmelike/pseuds/mukeandziamgotmelike
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sawamura Daichi has added sneaky snek to the chat.</p><p>Bokuto’s babe: WHAT THE HELL SAWMURA</p><p>Bokuto’s babe: WHAT</p><p>Bokuto’s babe: WHAT IS GOING ON WHY DO YOU HATE ME</p><p>***</p><p>Or, your classic captains' groupchat, but this time with the addition of a sneaky snek.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. never mix sneks and cats

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [national hot dad alliance is now calling...](https://archiveofourown.org/works/5663683) by [dicaeopolis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dicaeopolis/pseuds/dicaeopolis), [owlinaminor](https://archiveofourown.org/users/owlinaminor/pseuds/owlinaminor). 



> I AM SUCH TRASH FOR DAISHOU SUGURU SO I PUT HIM IN A GROUP CHAT
> 
> THIS IS GONNA BE A WILD RIDE
> 
> btw I already have this whole thing written so it'll be published across this next week

**_Sawamura Daichi has added_ ** **_sneaky snek_ ** **_to the chat._ **

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** WHAT THE HELL SAWMURA

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** WHAT

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** WHAT IS GOING ON WHY DO YOU HATE ME

 

 **Sawamura Daichi:** Kuroo, why are you so angry?

 

 **Sawamura Daichi:** He’s a captain, isn’t he?

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** nah sawamura kuroo just hates him

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** idk why tho he seems pretty decent

 

 **queen bitch:** who is this guy????

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** he’s the captain of Nohebi

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** HES A LYING CHEATING ASSHOLE AND HE SHOULDNT EVEN BE HERE

 

 **queen bitch:** where is he anyways?

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** probably sucking some guy off

 

 **Sawamura Daichi:** Kuroo, don’t be rude!

 

 **_Kuroo’s babe has changed Sawamura Daichi’s name to_ ** **_Dadchi._ **

 

 **sneaky snek:** hello

 

 **sneaky snek:** what the hell is this

 

 **sneaky snek:** and thank you for defending my honor sawamura, how valiant of you ;)

 

**_Bokuto’s babe has left the chat._ **

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** jesus christ

 

**_Kuroo’s babe has added Bokuto’s babe to the chat._ **

 

 **queen bitch:** hi i’m oikawa tooru

 

 **queen bitch:** you might know me as the grand king

 

 **queen bitch:** i’m like the best setter in the whole miyagi prefecture

 

 **queen bitch:** awaiting your praise

 

 **sneaky snek:** oh yeah you’re on aoba johsai

 

 **sneaky snek:** the team that could never beat shiratorizawa?

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** If he had come to Shiratorizawa, that wouldn’t have been a problem.

 

 **queen bitch:** FUCK YOU USHIWAKA AND FUCK YOUR TEAM I HATE YOU

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** hey oikawa wanna bond over hated rivals

 

 **queen bitch:** GLADLY

 

 **tongue ring:** what the hell

 

 **tongue ring:** this is what i walk in on

 

 **tongue ring:** seriously what the hell

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** TERUSHIMA

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** HEY HEY HEYY SWEET CHEEKS

 

 **tongue ring:** yeah hi

 

 **tongue ring:** why is kuroo so mad

 

 **queen bitch:** you wouldnt understand

 

 **queen bitch:** hes an innocent child someone cover his ears

 

 **tongue ring:** FUCK YOU OIKWAW IM ONLY A YEAR YOUNGER THAN YOU GUYS

 

 **Dadchi:** Terushima, watch your language.

 

 **tongue ring:** BUT HE STARTED IT

 

 **Dadchi:** I don’t care who started it, I’m ending it.

 

 **_tongue ring has changed Dadchi’s name to_ ** **_Big Daddy D._ **

 

 **Big Daddy D:** Real mature, Terushima.

 

 **sneaky snek:** damn daddy

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** gross

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Why are you calling him daddy?

 

 **sneaky snek:** would you rather i call you daddy instead? ;)

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** I just asked Tendou what that meant and he started laughing.

 

 **_queen bitch has changed the chat name to_ ** **_Save Ushiwaka 2k16._ **

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** tell tendou i say hi!!!!!

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Tendou says hello.

 

 **sneaky snek:** wait is kenma in this chat????

 

 **sneaky snek:** hes not a captain????

 

 **Big Daddy D:** Actually, that’s just Bokuto.

 

 **sneaky snek:** tetsurou you dog

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** fuck off

 

 **tongue ring:** whos this snek guy

 

 **tongue ring:** im very confuzzled

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** NO ONE YOUR INNOCENT MIND NEEDS TO KNOW

 

 **sneaky snek:** im daishou suguru, captain of nohebi academy volleyball club

 

 **sneaky snek:** who are you

 

 **tongue ring:** im terushima yuuji from johzenji

 

 **sneaky snek:** do you actually have a tongue ring

 

 **tongue ring:**  you bet

 

 **sneaky snek:** das cute

 

 **Big Daddy D:** YOUNG LOVE

 

 **_queen bitch has changed Big Daddy D’s name to_ ** **_proud dadchi_ **

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** NO TERU GET AWAY FROM HIM

 

 **_Kuroo’s babe has changed the chat name to_ ** **_kuroo is a protective dad._ **

 

 **proud dadchi:** Kuroo, be nice.

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** IM ALWAYS NICE

 

 **queen bitch:** right and im a virgin

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** OIKAWA YOURE SUPPOSED TO BE ON MY SIDE

 

 **sneaky snek:** get rekt tetsu

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** FUCK YOU

 

 **sneaky snek:** oh tetsu, at least take me out to dinner first

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** im out

 

 **_Bokuto’s babe has left_ ** **_kuroo is a protective dad._ **

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** le sigh

 

 **_Kuroo’s babe has added Bokuto’s babe to_ ** **_kuroo is a protective dad._ **

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** why do u do this

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** soz babe luv ya

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** youre tacky and i hate you

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** :((((((((((((((((

 

 **queen bitch:** when the otp breaks up

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** The what?

 

 **queen bitch:** you wouldnt know go away

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Tendou is reading over my shoulder and he asked if you wanted to fight.

 

 **queen bitch:** im sooooooo scared

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** bro youre dead lmao

 

 **_Bokuto’s babe has changed the chat name to_ ** **_rip trashykawa_ ** **_._ **

 

 **queen bitch:** heyyyy only iwa-chan can call me that :(

 

 **proud dadchi:** Guys, don’t be mean to Oikawa.

 

 **sneaky snek:** listen to daddy

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** gross

 

 **proud dadchi:** Kuroo, be nice.

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** HE JUST CALLED YOU DADDY ARE YOU NOT SEEING THIS

 

 **proud dadchi:** He’s a very nice boy, and I think that you shouldn’t be so mean to him. He’s done nothing wrong.

 

 **sneaky snek:** aww thank you sawamura :)

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** NOTHING WRONG??????

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** HES A CHEATER AND A LIAR AND HE MANIPULATES SOFT PEOPLE LIKE YOU INTO THINKING HES AN ANGEL

 

 **sneaky snek:** tetsu i would never do anything like that

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** YOU FUCKING

 

 **_queen bitch has changed Bokuto’s babe’s name to_ ** **_plz halp me._ **

 

 **tongue ring:** lol

 

 **plz halp me:** TERUSHIMA MY SON

 

 **plz halp me:** STOP LAUGHING AT MY PAIN YOU DONT KNOW ANY BETTER

 

 **tongue ring:** lolol

 

 **plz halp me:** TEru

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Is this chat going anywhere?

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** Because Tendou wants me to stop looking at my phone.

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** hooT HOOT

 

 **sneaky snek:** aww wakatoshi i thought we had something special

 

 **queen bitch:** “something special” lmao you asked if you could call him daddy and now youre suddenly on a first name basis

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** i need a name, place, muscle size

 

 **plz halp me:** wut

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** DID I FUCKING STUTTER

 

 **Ushijima Wakatoshi:** THAT SNEK GUY

 

 **tongue ring:** lol

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** oh i see

 

 **_Kuroo’s babe has changed the chat name to_ ** **_you are now now rocking with will.i.am and_ ** **_._ **

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** bro back me up

 

 **_plz halp me has changed Ushijima Wakatoshi’s name to_ ** **_tendou bitch._ **

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** brooooooo

 

 **plz halp me:** brooooooo

 

 **tendou bitch:** WHO IS HE

 

 **queen bitch:** his name is daishou suguru hes pretty cute

 

 **sneaky snek:** aww bae <3

 

 **tendou bitch:** WHY IS HE CALLING MY MAN DADDY

 

 **tendou bitch:** oBgwiubviubvsdzilhbcieuqob

 

 **tendou bitch:** I got the phone back.

 

 **queen bitch:** dammit

 

 **proud dadchi:** Oikawa!

 

 **queen bitch:** >:(

 

 **proud dadchi:** Do you want me to tell Iwaizumi on you?

 

 **queen bitch:** iwa-chan would never get mad at me for being mean to ushiwaka

 

 **proud dadchi:** Oh yeah that’s true.

 

 **plz halp me:** daichi tell tsukki to text me back

 

 **plz halp me:** i just wanna talk

 

 **tongue ring:** yeah “talk” ;)

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** WHY DO YOU HAVE SUCH A DIRTY MIND YOU ARE A CHILD

 

 **tongue ring:** ;(((((((

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** dafuq is that

 

 **proud dadchi:** Tsukishima says to tell you to stop texting him. He’s “studying”.

 

 **proud dadchi:** I know that Yamaguchi went over to his house, though.

 

 **tongue ring:** hey daishou wanna study and chill? ;)

 

 **tongue ring:** fyi im in class 7 so i wont have to study much ;))))))))

 

 **sneaky snek:** oh um

 

 **sneaky snek:** sure

 

 **plz halp me:** lol someone is flustered

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** NICE KILL TERU

 

 **sneaky snek:** IM NOT FLUSTERED GO AWAY KUROO

 

 **tongue ring:** its okay babe im known to have that effect on people ;)

 

 **sneaky snek:** slkvnsoirbgoscvjxncalksd

 

 **sneaky snek:** SHIT i didnt mean to send that

 

 **queen bitch:** this is getting really gay really fast

 

 **queen bitch:** like 0 to blowing your boyfriend in a janitors closet real quick

 

 **plz halp me:** so proud of you my son :’3

 

 **tongue ring:** :D

 

 **tendou bitch:** I agree with Oikawa, this is pretty gay.

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** werent you with tendou lolollolollololololol ;))))))))

 

 **tendou bitch:** I was, but my phone kept buzzing.

 

 **queen bitch:** YES I COCK BLOCKED USHIWAKA

 

 **queen bitch:** TAKE THAT HA

 

 **tendou bitch:** Come be a cock block at Shiratorizawa.

 

 **queen bitch:** …

 

 **sneaky snek:** i think hes broken lmao

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** WAIT FOR IT DAISHOU

 

 **proud dadchi:** Why the yelling?

 

 **plz halp me:** shhhh here it comes

 

 **queen bitch:** i cant

 

 **_queen bitch has left_ ** **_you are now now rocking with will.i.am and._ **

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** BOOM

 

 **plz halp me:** THere IT iS

 

 **sneaky snek:** now that hes gone lets talk shit about him

 

 **plz halp me:** this could turn into mean girls vv fast

 

 **_Kuroo’s babe has added queen bitch to_ ** **_you are now now rocking with will.i.am and._ **

 

 **queen bitch:** i knew you guys would want me back ;)

 

 **plz halp me:** did you see what daishou said

 

 **queen bitch:** oh its fine i would do the same if he left the chat :)

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** fuck this is gettin real

 

 **_tongue ring has changed the chat name to_ ** **_oikawa vs. daishou._ **

 

 **sneaky snek:** you have a cute face sweetie

 

 **sneaky snek:** dont make me mess that up :)

 

 **queen bitch:** you talk a big game for someone who cant even get to nationals :)

 

 **sneaky snek:** look whos talking hun :)

 

 **plz halp me:** *calls yaku* mom can you pick me up im scared

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** those smiley faces are full of hatred and contempt

 

 **proud dadchi:** Okay guys, retract the claws.

 

 **tongue ring:** youre both pretty

 

 **queen bitch:** thank you terushima

 

 **queen bitch:** at least i actually have someone who tells me so on a daily basis :)

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** oh shit

 

 **tendou bitch:** As they say; that was below the belt, Oikawa.

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** RIIIIIIGGHHHHTTT?????????

 

 **plz halp me:** as much as id love to see daishou get rekt, i have to go give my fish a bath

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** i have to go help my bro with that bath so bye

 

 **tendou bitch:** This is making me extremely uncomfortable, so I am going to mute my phone and go hang out with Tendou.

 

 **tongue ring:** imma leave too peace out

 

 **proud dadchi:** Play nice, boys.

 

 **queen bitch:** same time tomorrow?

 

 **sneaky snek:** of course

 

 **queen bitch:** love ya!

 

 **sneaky snek:** love you too ;)


	2. they're "just friends"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> First emotional talk, some denial of feelings, and enter: Moniwa Kaname.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cann we ju s t talk about moniwa????

**queen bitch:** guuyyyysss iwa-chan is being a meanie :(

 

**queen bitch:** answer meeeeeee

 

**queen bitch:** someone pay attention to me :(((((((((

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** AW BBY

 

**queen bitch:** BOKUTO

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** OIKAWA

 

**queen bitch:** BOKUTO

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** OIKAWA

 

**queen bitch:** BOKUTO

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** OIKAWA

 

_ [cut for length] _

 

**sneaky snek:** whos iwachan

 

**queen bitch:** hes my bestest friend in the whole wide world

 

**queen bitch:** hold up hold up

 

**queen bitch:** _ [picture attached] _

 

**sneaky snek:** HOT DAMN

 

**sneaky snek:** CAN I GET AN AMEN

 

**sneaky snek:** MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED

 

**sneaky snek:** A R M S

 

**queen bitch:** yeah hes okay i guess

 

**sneaky snek:** OKAY?!

 

**sneaky snek:** HE IS 12/10 

 

**queen bitch:** more like 2/10 lol

 

**sneaky snek:** we’re looking at the same guy right?????

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** i agree with daishou

 

**tongue ring:** honestly same

 

**queen bitch:** STOP CALLING MY IWACHAN HOT

 

**tongue ring:** ill call someone else hot then

 

**tongue ring:** daishou youre hot

 

**sneaky snek:** thx bae

 

**plz halp me:** gross teru you can do better

 

**proud dadchi:** Kuroo, be nice.

 

**plz halp me:** kuroo be nice

 

**proud dadchi:** Really?

 

**plz halp me:** really?

 

**_queen bitch has changed proud dadchi’s name to_ ** **_stressed dadchi._ **

 

**_Kuroo’s babe has changed plz halp me’s name to_ ** **_annoying kitten._ **

 

**annoying kitten:** i like this

 

**annoying kitten:** i can work with this :3

 

**stressed dadchi:** Ugh.

 

**queen bitch:** current mood: daichi after dealing w kuroo

 

**sneaky snek:** tetsu stop being mean to daddy

 

**annoying kitten:** i hate you 

 

**sneaky snek:** oohh tell me more ;)

 

**annoying kitten:** dafuq

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** BRO STOP FLIRTING

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** YOURE MINE

 

**_Kuroo’s babe has changed annoying kitten’s name to_ ** **_daishou back off._ **

 

**daishou back off:** what the hell bo we werent flirting

 

**daishou back off:** ew

 

**sneaky snek:** aww tetsu stop lying to him its time he finds out ;)

 

**tendou bitch:** What is going on?

 

**daishou back off:** im asking myself the same thing

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** WHAT R U HIDING FROM ME KURO?????!!!!!

 

**daishou back off:** nothing bro daishou is just being a lil shit

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** DO U PROMISE????!!!!

 

**daishou back off:** of course bro youre mah main squeeze

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** _ [picture attached] _

 

**sneaky snek:** aww what a cute owl

 

**daishou back off:** stay away from my bro we are in a committed brolationship and i will not have the likes of you slandering that

 

**sneaky snek:** oh thats fine ive got yuuji to flirt with still ;)

 

**tongue ring:** aww babe ;)

 

**daishou back off:** wait

 

**daishou back off:** yuuji?

 

**daishou back off:** *grabs teru* dont talk to me or my son ever again

 

**tongue ring:** aw cmon dad :(

 

**sneaky snek:** give your son the freedom to make his own decisions tetsu

 

**sneaky snek:** or do you not trust him?

 

**tongue ring:** DAD YOU DONT TRUST ME?????!!!!! D:

 

**daishou back off:** DAISHOU STOP CORRUPTING MY LOVED ONES

 

**tendou bitch:** I am so confused.

 

**stressed dadchi:** Right there with you, Ushijima.

 

**tongue ring:** IM A GROWN WOMAN

 

**daishou back off:** i think youre 14 and youre an idiot 

 

**tongue ring:** IM ALMAOT 18 FICK YOU 

 

**queen bitch:** calm down child

 

**queen bitch:** youre too pure

 

**sneaky snek:** not after im done with him  ;) ;) ;)

 

**tongue ring:** ooohhhh ;)

 

**daishou back off:** I MUST SAVE MY CHILD

 

**_daishou back off has removed tongue ring from_ ** **_oikawa vs. daishou_ **

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** jesus christ

 

**_Kuroo’s babe has added tongue ring to_ ** **_oikawa vs. daishou_ **

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** stop making my job harder babe

 

**daishou back off:** sorry babe :(

 

**sneaky snek:** ive been meaning to ask this but are you two actually dating or????

 

**daishou back off:** if we were would that be a problem?

 

**sneaky snek:** do you really think i care if youre gay testu

 

**sneaky snek:** have you SEEN my contributions to this chat???

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** well we are dating but theres like more to it

 

^^^

 

**daishou back off:** should we really tell them bo?

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** weve known them for a while its fine

 

**daishou back off:** but what about kenma

 

**daishou back off:** you know how nervous he can get

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** dont worry

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** itll all be fine

 

^^^

 

**stressed dadchi:** I swear to god, if this is another one of your bro jokes…

 

**daishou back off:** i swear its not

 

**daishou back off:** so bo and i are dating, but were also dating kenma and akaashi

 

**daishou back off:** if that makes sense

 

**tongue ring:** so like an orgy but no one leaves the bed afterwards???

 

**daishou back off:** if thats the way youll understand it then yes teru

 

**tongue ring:** COOL NOW I HAVE FOUR DADS

 

**tongue ring:** THIS IS FUCKING RAD

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** IKR???!?!??!

 

**sneaky snek:** tetsu why did you think i would have a problem with that

 

**sneaky snek:** youre definitely not my favorite person in the world but that doesnt mean i would make fun of you for the relationships you choose

 

**daishou back off:** that was

 

**daishou back off:** pretty um

 

**stressed dadchi:** In the words of my first year setter, “N… Knife… Nice.”

 

**daishou back off:** yeah what he said

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW DAISHOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** I REALLY WANNA HUG YOU RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**daishou back off:** do the rest of you guys have a problem with it…?

 

**queen bitch:** of course not kuroo

 

**queen bitch:** i make fun of a lot of people for a lot of things but i would never make fun of you bokuto kenma or akaashi especially for something like this

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** AWWWWWWWW OIKAWA I WANNA HUG YOU TOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**tendou bitch:** I’m completely fine with it. 

 

**tendou bitch:** Tendou thinks it’s fine too.

 

**tendou bitch:** His exact words were “Damn Koutarou, get some”

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** AWWWWWWW USHIWAKA I WANNA HUG YOU AND TENDOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**queen bitch:** ushiwaka you and tendou are so married you literally tell each other everything haha

 

**tendou bitch:** Of course I do

 

**tendou bitch:** Don’t you tell Iwaizumi everything?

 

**queen bitch:** not really

 

**queen bitch:** we’re not… like dating

 

**queen bitch:** he doesn’t like me like that

 

**stressed dadchi:** Have you asked him?

 

**queen bitch:** i mean no but its clear that he only thinks of me as his annoying best friend

 

**daishou back off:** are you kidding me??????????

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** yeah oikawa hes like head over heels for you

 

**queen bitch:** no hes not

 

**daishou back off:** he is

 

**queen bitch:** hes not

 

**daishou back off:** he is

 

**queen bitch:** hes not

 

**daishou back off:** he is

 

**queen bitch:** hes not

 

**daishou back off:** oikawa im dating kozume kenma i can do this alllllllllll day

 

**queen bitch:** look even if he did like me and if we did get together it couldnt last long

 

**queen bitch:** we already know that we’re going to different universities

 

**queen bitch:** i dont really wanna think about it anymore someone change the subject

 

**tongue ring:** fuck

 

**tongue ring:** thats right

 

**sneaky snek:** waht

 

**tongue ring:** youre all graduating

 

**daishou back off:** not yet though

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** yeah teru, stop trying to make us leave so early

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** weve still got a few months

 

**stressed dadchi:** I’ve never seen you type with so much emotion, Terushima.

 

**tongue ring:** stooooooooooooooooooooooooooooop

 

**daishou back off:** stop embarassing my son hes very sensitive 

 

**sneaky snek:** aww babes i wanna give you a hug

 

**tongue ring:** with no clothes? ;)

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** THERE HE IS

 

**daishou back off:** everyone knows acting like a fuckboy is his defense mechanism but we’ll bring this up later when no one’s emo

 

**stressed dadchi:** Guys I gotta go Suga’s heresodbvuosducnsa

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** OHOHOHOHOHO

 

**_queen bitch has changed the chat name to_ ** **_get some dadchi._ **

 

^^^

 

**daishou back off:** guys i just realized

 

**daishou back off:** where the fuck is moniwa

 

**stressed dadchi:** What?

 

**stressed dadchi:** Oh. 

 

**stressed dadchi:** True, though. Where is he?

 

**tongue ring:** futakuchi told me its because he think hes not allowed anymore

 

**tongue ring:** cuz hes not techincally a captain

 

**queen bitch:** get off your phones in class sinners

 

**daishou back off:** aww what a cutie

 

**daishou back off:** teru tell futakuchi to tell moniwa to join us again were gonna drag that bitch into this mess of a groupchat

 

**tongue ring:** gotcha

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** oikawa who are you to call us sinners

 

**daishou back off:** yeah

 

**daishou back off:** you sinner

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** thx bro nice cover

 

**daishou back off:** i got your back

 

**queen bitch:** you two are worse than mattsun and makki

 

**queen bitch:** and theyre fluent in meme and wont let anyone forget it

 

**daishou back off:** but can they finish each others…

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** SANDWICHES

 

**daishou back off:** THATS WHAT I WAS GONNA SAY

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** LOVE IS AN OPEN DOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRR

 

**daishou back off:** LIFE COULD BE SO MUCH MORE

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** WITH YOU

 

**daishou back off:** WITH YOU

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** WITH YOU

 

**daishou back off:** can i say something crazy

 

**daishou back off:** do you wanna go out for meat buns

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** can i say something crazier

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** yes

 

**sneaky snek:** well wasnt that just real fucking adorable

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** ooohhhh daishou that reminds me

 

**_Kuroo’s babe has changed daishou back off’s name to_ ** **_Bokuto’s babe._ **

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** much better

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** :’3

 

**queen bitch:** yeah youre way worse than mattsun and makki

 

**queen bitch:** they dont do dramatic duets over text

 

**queen bitch:** wait actually nvm

 

**queen bitch:** there was that time with never gonna give you up

 

**Moniwa Kaname:** Apparently I’m still a captain?

 

**Moniwa Kaname:** Or something… 

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** MONIWA

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** WHERE YOU BEEN BRO

 

**Moniwa Kaname:** Trying to cheer my team on as they got slaughtered by Seijoh… 

 

**queen bitch:** still salty about that?

 

**tongue ring:** DAMMNNNNNN MONIWA 

 

**tongue ring:** BACK AT IT AGAIN WITH THE SICK BURNS

 

**stressed dadchi:** How are you, Moniwa?

 

**Moniwa Kaname:** I’m doing well Sawamura thank you for asking

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** that encounter was saltier than tsukki

 

**Moniwa Kaname:** Kuroo I hold nothing against Sawamura

 

**Moniwa Kaname:** Or Oikawa

 

**queen bitch:** even after both our aces destroyed your “iron wall”?

 

**Moniwa Kaname:** I have a wild Aone and I’m not afraid to use him.

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** i love watching miyagi captains interact

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** RIIIIIGGGHHHHTTT???

 

**sneaky snek:** fuking golden

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** so much salt i have high blood pressure

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** bro that was hot

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** talk nerdy to me ;)

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** callipygian ;) ;) ;)

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** i dont know what that means but it was hot

 

**tongue ring:** it literally means a nice ass

 

**tongue ring:** like no joke he complimented your ass

 

**tongue ring:** my dad is so fucking smooth even in his old age

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** take notes son

 

**Moniwa Kaname:** futakuchi says to practice on him

 

**tongue ring:** aww the babe XD

 

**tongue ring:** tell him to expect it ;))))))))))))

 

**sneaky snek:** teru what the fuck i thought waht we had was special

 

**sneaky snek:** I TRUSTED YOU

 

**tongue ring:** fuck um

 

**tongue ring:** threesome?

 

**tongue ring:** daishou?

 

**tongue ring:** hello?

 

**tongue ring:** fuck

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** slowly backs away from the quarrelling couple

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** i love how your first solution was to have a threesome

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** pretty on point thinking there

 

**tongue ring:** suguruuuuuuuuuuuu

 

**tongue ring:** come baaaaaaaaaaaack

 

**tongue ring:** im sorryyyyyyyyyyyyy

 

**sneaky snek:** damn right you are

 

**tongue ring:** :D 

 

**stressed dadchi:** GET OFF YOUR PHONES IN CLASS!

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** hypocrite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love these trash captains so much it's not a joke anymore


	3. daishou in a skirt?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotions, bitch besties becoming sort of actual besties, first video call, and some Iwaoi angst.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think yes.
> 
> (TW: mentions of self-harm in this chapter. please, be safe)

**sneaky snek:** can i tell you guys something

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** OF COURSSE

 

**sneaky snek:** its kinda weird… 

 

**tongue ring:** “weird” lol have you seen this chat its nothing but weird

 

**tongue ring:** and gay but

 

**sneaky snek:** im really scared promise you wont hate me

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** theres no way i could hate you more than i already do

 

**stressed dadchi:** Kuroo… 

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** sorry

 

**sneaky snek:** okay so… i really dont know how to start this

 

**tongue ring:** DAISHOU ARE YOU STRAGITH SMH SMH GET OUT OF MY HOUSE

 

**sneaky snek:** no i can assure you im pretty gay

 

**sneaky snek:** but i kinda

 

**sneaky snek:** fuck i thought i could do this

 

**sneaky snek:** i cant bye

 

**_sneaky snek has left_ ** **_get some dadchi_ ** **_._ **

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** WAIT NO DAISHOU COME BACK

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** DONT WORRY WHATEVER IT IS WE WONT JUDGE YOU

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** DAISHOU I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL SERENADE YOU TO HSM

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** WE”RE ALLLLLLLL IN THIS TOGETHERRRRRR

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** someone pm him

 

**queen bitch:** ill do it brb

 

**stressed dadchi:** BE GENTLE.

 

^^^

 

**queen bitch:** daishou whats wrong

 

**sneaky snek:** nothing

 

**queen bitch:** youre not fooling me with that crap whats wrong

 

**sneaky snek:** NOTHING oikawa go be annoying somewhere else

 

**queen bitch:** unnecessary salt something is wrong

 

**queen bitch:** tell me

 

**sneaky snek:** i cant

 

**sneaky snek:** i thought i couold tell you guys but i cant

 

**sneaky snek:** youd hate me and think i was weird

 

**queen bitch:** suguru

 

**queen bitch:** you saw what terushima said we’re all weird

 

**queen bitch:** tell me

 

**queen bitch:** i promise i wont judge you

 

**queen bitch:** please

 

**sneaky snek:** sometimes i like to wear skirts

 

**queen bitch:** and…?

 

**sneaky snek:** thats it

 

**queen bitch:** this was what you were so scared of telling me

 

**queen bitch:** i dont care. I like skirts too

 

**queen bitch:** and i know for a fact that kuroo paints his nails when he doesnt have school

 

**queen bitch:** so are you like genderfluid or non binary or something?

 

**sneaky snek:** im not sure

 

**sneaky snek:** i mean, i still feel like a boy, i just like to wear ‘girl’ clothes

 

**queen bitch:** nice

 

**queen bitch:** and same kinda

 

**sneaky snek:** … you really dont care?

 

**queen bitch:** of course not

 

**queen bitch:** and no one else will, either

 

^^^

 

**_queen bitch has added sneaky snek to_ ** **_get some dadchi_ ** **_._ **

 

**sneaky snek:** i think i can do this now

 

**sneaky snek:** guys im starting a video call answer

 

**_get some dadchi_ ** **_is now calling…_ **

 

“What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Terushima’s loud, concerned voice is the first one to come through the speaker. Daishou nods, smiling a little. “I’m fine, Yuuji.”

 

“Gross. I forgot you two were on the first name basis,” Kuroo grumbles under his breath. Daichi gives him a stern look. “Kuroo, stop.” “I’m not entirely sure what’s going on,” Ushijima says bluntly. Daishou nods. “Right. That.”

 

He looks up and meets Oikawa’s eyes as a silent confirmation. Oikawa nods, smiling reassuringly. “Okay,” he whispers to himself, letting out a deep breath.

 

“I, um, I kinda like to wear skirts,” he says, “Like, girls’ skirts.”

 

There’s silence for a few moments before Bokuto literally starts squealing. “That’s so cute! I bet you look so great! Oh my god, Daishou!” He bounces in his seat. Ushijima has a neutral look on his face and Daichi looks proud. Kuroo is smirking a little, Moniwa has a small smile, and Terushima is looking at him in awe.

 

“Suguru!” Terushima gushes, his eyes sparkling. “Show us! I bet you look so cute!” 

 

Daishou blushes. “I-I really don’t look that great…” 

 

“Show us!  _ Please _ , Daishou!” Bokuto begs, biting back a smile.

 

Daishou smiles, standing up from his desk chair and revealing his short black skirt and his oversized white sweater. “You look  _ adorable _ !” Terushima says happily, a huge smile on his face. “Really?” Daishou asks quietly, sitting back down. “You’re even prettier than the day I first met you,” Terushima replies, causing Daishou to laugh.

 

“ _ You look so good _ !” Bokuto yells, and the other boys on the call to flinch. “Shhh, princess, our boyfriends are sleeping,” Kuroo shushes, putting a finger on Bokuto’s lips (did I mention they're in the same place? They are). “Sorry, Tetsurou,” Bokuto replies, blush prominent on his cheeks.

 

“I'm not really sure I'm all that clear on who you are but you do look good in that,” Moniwa says, a small smile on his lips. Daishou sputters a little, but recovers. “Daishou Suguru, from Nohebi Academy.”

 

“Oh. I'm Moniwa Kaname from Datekou,” Moniwa says. “He's as nice as Daichi and as pretty as Oikawa,” Kuroo explains and Moniwa looks down self-consciously. 

 

“Is this all you wanted to tell us? All you were worried about?” Ushijima asks. There's a tuft of spiked red hair on his chest that he's absentmindedly running his fingers through. “Well, yeah,” Daishou mutters, rubbing his hands up and down his arms. “I was scared you guys would call me weird or something -”

 

“Daishou, we already know you're weird, and it's not because of this,” Kuroo says simply, looking away like he doesn't care. “Tetsu!” Daishou gushes, his eyes tearing up. “Ah, shit, why are you crying?” The Nekoma captain asks nervously, rubbing the back of his neck.

 

“I was just so scared that you guys wouldn’t support me or something, because almost everyone I’ve told so far has called me a freak and I was just so scared -” He cuts himself off, putting his face in his hands. “Suguru…” Terushima trails off, his big brown eyes widening in concern. “Gimme names, I swear to god, I’ll -”

 

“Terushima.”

 

“But Daichi, fighting people who mess with my man is fun!”

 

“You know what’s not fun? Getting put in jail for assault,” Daichi says and Terushima frowns, his eyes drooping a little.

 

“Yuuji, Sawamura is right. You don’t have to do that,” Daishou mumbles, plastering a smug smile on his face. “Besides, I could probably take ‘em out on my own. I’ve beaten Tetsu thousands of times.”

 

Kuroo lets out a sound that resembles a squawk (which he’ll probably never admit to making) and Bokuto laughs into his neck. “Damn, Sugu-chan!” Oikawa laughs. The tuft of red hair on Ushijima’s chest groans a little and stirs, causing the Shiratorizawa captain to shush Oikawa and continue petting (who they’re all guessing is Tendou) Tendou’s hair. Oikawa rolls his eyes. “Oh, don’t shush me, Ushiwaka,” he says, but his voice is quieter, so the message must have gotten through. 

 

“I wouldn’t be shushing you if you had come to Shiratorizawa.”

 

Kuroo and Bokuto erupt into laughter, hitting each other like they’re trying to put out a fire (very, very slowly). Moniwa laughs a little but hides it with his hand while Daichi just rolls his eyes fondly. Oikawa gapes at Ushijima. “What the fuck, you asshole!” He shrieks before he walks off the screen. They can hear him yelling “I’m done!” from a distance. 

 

“Did I say something wrong?” Ushijima asks, genuinely confused. Bokuto keeps laughing, grabbing onto Kuroo’s arm like it’s the only thing keeping him from falling. “It’s not that funny,” Daichi remarks, but he’s chuckling a little against his will, so it takes away from his point. “Maybe because it’s past midnight,” Moniwa says, holding his chin up on his palm with an amused expression. 

 

“Shit!” Daishou says, looking at his phone, his eyes widening.

 

“What’s wrong, Daishou? Missing your beauty sleep?” Kuroo asks and Daishou glares at him. “Guys, guys, shut up,” Moniwa whispers. “Terushima fell asleep.”

 

They all focus their attention on the youngest boy. “Aww, he’s so small and precious!” Bokuto gushes, holding his hands to his heart. “I wanna squish his little cheeks!”

 

“He looks so different asleep… calmer,” Daichi comments. “Well, duh, 10 hour energy shots have to wear off sometime,” Oikawa says, having returned when Moniwa pointed out the time. Kuroo and Bokuto laugh again. “I think we should hang up now,” Kuroo says, “Wakatoshi is starting to go, too~”

 

The Shiratorizawa captain is starting to nod off, his eyes drooping. “I guess we should go. You guys need your sleep,” Daichi says. “Yes, dad,” Oikawa says with an eye roll.

 

“Good night, Oikawa,” Daichi says firmly, as if making a point. Oikawa mutters ‘yeah, yeah,’ and gets up to lay down on his bed. “Good night, everybody,” he drawls, “Except Ushiwaka. Your’s can jus’ be a night; not good.”

 

“He can’t hear you, Tooru,” Kuroo giggles, resting his head on top of Bokuto’s. The said Fukurodani captain is sleeping soundly, his energy off like a light switch. “Shut up, ya’ stupid… cat…” His voice fades out as his eyes shut.

 

“G’night, guys. I’ve gotta go to bed,” Moniwa says, waving cutely before he hangs up. Daishou nods. “I should probably go, too. Night, Sawamura,” he says, smiling as he disconnects. 

 

Daichi smiles softly to himself, closing his laptop.

 

**_Call ended. Duration: 2:07:54_ **

 

^^^

 

**sneaky snek:** thanks for listening to me last night guys

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** oh my god shut up its 5 am

 

**sneaky snek:** but youre up arent you

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** shut up i like to get to practice early

 

**queen bitch:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t64OXKVGvk ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t64OXKVGvk)

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** are you flirting with me

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** STOP FLIRTING WITH MY MAN

 

**queen bitch:** im not flirting calm down jfc

 

**tendou bitch:** So all of you are still going to your team’s practices?

 

**queen bitch:** yep

 

**queen bitch:** even though we fucking LOST to fucking KARASUNO

 

**stressed dadchi:** What is it that the kids say these days?

 

**stressed dadchi:** Oh, right.

 

**stressed dadchi:** You’re still salty about that?

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** damn dadchi

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** DAMMMMMNNNN DADCHI

 

**_sneaky snek has changed the chat name to_ ** **_dammmmMMnnnn dADchi_ ** **_._ **

 

**stressed dadchi:** Thanks, Daishou.

 

**sneaky snek:** :P

 

**sneaky snek:** np daddy

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** oh great hes still doing that

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** KUROO NO KINKSHAMING

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** ???????????

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** WHA T IF I CALLLES YO UDADDY HUH???

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

**sneaky snek:** damn hypocrite

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** >>>>>>>::::::(((((((

 

**tongue ring:** what the hell

 

**sneaky snek:** yes babe is here

 

**tongue ring:** you know it boo ;)

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** when did they become cuter than us

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** they havent even met

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** bro we need to step up our game

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** fuck me 

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** not what i meant

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** something more romantic

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** fuck me with roses?

 

**queen bitch:** *kenma and akaashi sigh eternally in the distance*

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** … so you wont fuck me

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** i never said that

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** ohoho lets do it ;)

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** bro this is the groupchat

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** … and?

 

**sneaky snek:** IM KINKSHAMING

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** princess your sexts are for my eyes only

 

**sneaky snek:** K I N K S H A M I N G

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** well and our other two boyfriends

 

**stressed dadchi:** GET TO CLASS AND STOP TEXTING, KUROO.

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** DONT TELL ME WHAT TO DO

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** :)

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** all you nerds and your ‘school’ hahahahahahahaha

 

**sneaky snek:** oh shut the hell up youre in class five you geek

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** >:(

 

^^^

 

**queen bitch:** iwa-chan… 

 

**hajime iwaizumom:** What is it oikawa

 

**queen bitch:** i did it again

 

**queen bitch:** well not exactly

 

**queen bitch:** i started but i knew you would be disappointed so i stopped

 

**queen bitch:** but iwachan i still did it and theres so mcuh blodd……..

 

**hajime iwaizumom:** Don’t you dare move an inch Oikawa I’ll be right there I swear

 

**hajime iwaizumom:** Just stay awake

 

**hajime iwaizumom:** Please Tooru

 

**hajime iwaizumom:** For me

 

**queen bitch:** ill try

 

**queen bitch:** its so hard i cant

 

**queen bitch:** iwachan

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said that I would update this across next week but it will probably be all out by tonight.


	4. moniwa kaname is officially precious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Emotional talks led by Oikawa, TeruShou becoming more and more serious, mentions of an extremely rare pairing, and sexy back rubs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO THIS CHAPTER GOT CUT OFF SO IM REUPDATING IT SO IM SORRY IF IT DOESNT WORK IM TRYING TO FIX IT

**queen bitch:** Guys

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** typing with a capital letter give the man a prize

 

 **queen bitch:** Its not Oikawa

 

 **queen bitch:** Its Iwaizumi

 

 **stressed dadchi:** What’s wrong? Is Oikawa okay?

 

 **queen bitch:** Hes fine now

 

 **queen bitch:** He just got a little… overwhelmed with school and volleyball and the loss

 

 **queen bitch:** Im just telling you guys that he won’t be on his phone for a few days so yeah

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** WHAT HAPPENED?!??!?!?!

 

 **queen bitch:** He doesn’t want me to tell you guys

 

 **queen bitch:** Hes kinda embarrassed by it

 

 **sneaky snek:** when i was embarrassed about telling these guys something oikawa was the one who convinced me that it wasnt a big deal and no one would treat me differently or make fun of me

 

 **sneaky snek:** he has to tell us or else hes a hypocrite

 

 **Moniwa Kaname:** We wont judge him no matter what.

 

 **Moniwa Kaname:** Besides, none of use are exactly perfect…

 

 **queen bitch:** He says he’ll tell you guys himself

 

 **queen bitch:** When he feels better

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Tell him that I hope he feels better soon.

 

 **queen bitch:** He scoffed and muttered ‘dad’ but then said thank you

 

 **tendou bitch:** Tell him I also send my regards

 

 **queen bitch:** He said ‘like id ever want that from him’ and crossed his arms like the temperamental five year old that he is

 

 **queen bitch:** sobvobsvjxnclsiurbfgaoiur

 

 **queen bitch:** so mean iwachan

 

 **queen bitch:** im fine guys, iwachan is just being a mom

 

 **queen bitch:** HES SO MEAN HE JUST CALLED ME SHITYKAWA

 

 **queen bitch:** HE REALLY IS A MOM HES READING MY TExTS OVER MY SHOULDER

 

 **tongue ring:** lol

 

 **sneaky snek:** yuuji you always insert the best things into our conversations

 

 **tongue ring:** i can insert even better things into you ;) ;) ;) ;)

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** hooT HOOT

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** WHAT THW HELL TERU

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** WHERE TE FUCK DID THT COME FROM

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** WHO TAUGHT YOU SUCH OBSCENITIES

 

 **tongue ring:** my dad

 

 **queen bitch:** which one tho

 

 **tongue ring:** the one that barely looked up from his psp as he told me those things

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** dammit kenma

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** i told him not to corrupt the child

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** evil lil kitten

 

 **tendou bitch:** He does seem to exhibit evil qualities.

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** hey

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** we can say it

 

 **Moniwa Kaname:** How much money do you guys wanna bet that Kuroo looks like that grumpy cat meme right now

 

 **sneaky snek:** im not gonna fight you on that precious

 

 **Moniwa Kaname:** Precious?

 

 **Moniwa Kaname:** And anyone else for that bet?

 

 **queen bitch:** i dont think anyone will fight you on that

 

 **sneaky snek:** and kaname youre so precious

 

 **sneaky snek:** youre the most precious cinnamon roll ive ever seen in my life

 

 **sneaky snek:** like seriously youre like one of those little puppies youre so soft and cute

 

 **Moniwa Kaname:** XD

 

 **tongue ring:** what the hell am i not cute

 

 **sneaky snek:** youre a fuckboy

 

 **tongue ring:** bobATA TOLD ME TO SAY THAT IM SORRRYYYYYY

 

 **sneaky snek:** but youre my fuckboy :)

 

 **tongue ring:** ……………

 

 **tongue ring:** what are these feelings im feeling

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** nice job you fuckin snek you broke my son

 

 **tendou bitch:** Nice kill, Daishou

 

 **sneaky snek:** why thank you, wakatoshi ;)

 

 **tendou bitch:** I am confused as to why you are winking and calling me by my first name

 

 **sneaky snek:** its

 

 **sneaky snek:** nvm

 

 **tongue ring:** i dont agree with this

 

 **sneaky snek:** yuuji, so valiant

 

 **tongue ring:** always bby

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** ugh

 

^^^

 

 **queen bitch:** hello

 

 **queen bitch:** its me

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** i was wondering if after all these years youd like to meet

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** to go over

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** everything

 

 **sneaky snek:** they say that times supposed to heal you

 

 **sneaky snek:** but i aint done much healing

 

 **tongue ring:** hello

 

 **tongue ring:** can you hear me

 

 **Moniwa Kaname:** I’m in California dreaming about who we used to be

 

 **stressed dadchi:** When we were younger, and free.

 

 **tendou bitch:** Guys I don’t know the rest of that song

 

 **queen bitch:** DAMMIT USHIWAKA

 

 **queen bitch:** WE WERE GOALS

 

 **_sneaky snek has changed Moniwa Kaname’s name to_ ** **_precious_ ** **_._ **

 

 **queen bitch:** what the hell spurred that on

 

 **sneaky snek:** idk

 

 **sneaky snek:** just remembered it

 

 **queen bitch:** okay so

 

 **queen bitch:** i should probably tell you guys what happened a couple days ago

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** ARE YOU FEELING BETTER?

 

 **queen bitch:** yeah thanks

 

 **queen bitch:** so its important that you promise not to treat me any differently after this

 

 **queen bitch:** sometimes i feel like everything is crashing down around me

 

 **queen bitch:** and i dont know how to handle that

 

 **queen bitch:** sometimes if it gets really bad… i

 

 **queen bitch:** like

 

 **queen bitch:** hurt myself

 

 **sneaky snek:** like… cut yourself?

 

 **queen bitch:** yeah

 

 **queen bitch:** i used to do it a lot but now not so much

 

 **queen bitch:** after iwachan found out he helped me stop doing it as much

 

 **precious:** Oikawa…

 

 **queen bitch:** please dont pity me. I dont need it and i dont want it

 

 **queen bitch:** im fine

 

 **queen bitch:** i just wanna keep having the same things with you guys that i always do

 

 **queen bitch:** i still want daishou and i to have the bitch besties relationship, i want kuroo to keep lowkey insulting me, and dammit i want ushiwaka to keep telling me to come to shiratorizawa

 

 **queen bitch:** i just want things to be the same

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** whatever you say trashykawa

 

 **queen bitch:** meeeeeaaaannnn :( only iwachan gets to call me that

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** i understand what youre saying oikawa

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** sometimes i panic or shut down because i feel overwhelmed

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** but just like you have iwaizumi i have akaashi and kuroo and kenma!

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** can you promise me that youll always tell me or at least one of us if youre feeling like that again?

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Yeah. I got really scared when Iwaizumi was telling us that you were hurt.

 

 **queen bitch:** i promise ill try to stay more positive

 

 **tendou bitch:** I hope you continue to feel better, Oikawa.

 

 **queen bitch:** …

 

 **queen bitch:** thanks…

 

 **queen bitch:** you know you guys arent that bad

 

 **queen bitch:** im sorry im kinda mean to you

 

 **stressed dadchi:** You’re not that mean, Oikawa.

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** DAICHIS RIGHT

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** i love talking to you!!!!!!!!

 

 **queen bitch:** aww thanks bokuto youre like one of my favorite people ever

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** XD

 

 **tendou bitch:** They’re both correct

 

 **tendou bitch:** You do add a certain something to this conversation

 

 **precious:** You’re also really pretty!

 

 **queen bitch:** daishou was right you are precious

 

 **sneaky snek:** RIGGHHHHTTTT???

 

 **tongue ring:** youre really fun to hang out with oikawa

 

 **queen bitch:** you think everything is fun

 

 **tongue ring:** but youre like extra super MEGA fun

 

 **queen bitch:** youre like 5

 

 **queen bitch:** but its kinda cute

 

 **tongue ring:** XD

 

 **sneaky snek:** back off you have your own bara

 

 **queen bitch:** :P

 

 **tongue ring:** aww im bara?

 

 **sneaky snek:** hell yeah you blessed that one group call with your arms

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** i think bo is the one who blessed that group call

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** 10 out of fucking 10

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** :’3

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** a man after my own heart

 

 **precious:** Guys I think we can all admit that either Daichi or Ushijima is the most bara

 

 **queen bitch:** damn precious

 

 **precious:** actually my second year base of our iron wall is the most bara

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** ohoho?

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** YOUR second year base?

 

 **precious:** I was basically the mom of Datekou

 

 **precious:** Old habits die hard I guess…

 

 **queen bitch:** headline: precious is quick to deny dating rumors, smooth over texts

 

 **precious:** Who the hell said anything about dating?

 

 **precious:** Aone is my kouhai, nothing else

 

 **sneaky snek:** headline: precious swears for what is probably the first time in his life

 

 **precious:** Stop making headlines!

 

 **tongue ring:** headline: precious gets angry over latest headlines

 

 **precious:** …

 

 **precious:** Im leaving I had enough of this shit when I was on the volleyball team see ya

 

 **_precious has left_ ** **_dammmmMMnnnn dADchi_ ** **_._ **

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** bo

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** on it

 

 **_Kuroo’s babe added precious to_ ** **_dammmmMMnnnn dADchi_ ** **_._ **

 

 **precious:** All I wanted was one day…

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** you seem stressed

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** how bout i pop over there and give you a shoulder rub

 

 **precious:** What?

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** what

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** its what i do when yakus stressed

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** mainly over lev

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** or our other very difficult children

 

 **sneaky snek:** *kittens

 

 **precious:** I think I’m good…

 

 **tongue ring:** i bet aone gives great shoulder rubs

 

 **precious:** Sleep with one eye open tonight, Terushima.

 

 **queen bitch:** hes right tho

 

 **queen bitch:** aones got nice strong hands i feel it would be very pleasant and relaxing

 

 **tongue ring:** damn now i want a shoulder rub

 

 **tongue ring:** everyone on datekou has strong hands right? im calling futakuchi

 

 **queen bitch:** same teru

 

 **queen bitch:** im asking iwachan

 

 **queen bitch:** update: he said no and pulled my hair instead

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** ohoho?

 

 **sneaky snek:** kinkshaming

 

 **queen bitch:** IN A COMPLETELY INNOCENT WAY GOd you guys are sinful

 

 **queen bitch:** do you have no shame

 

 **tongue ring:** guys futakuchi said he’ll do it fuck yeah

 

 **queen bitch:** apparently not

 

 **sneaky snek:** whats a ‘shame’?

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** i am the epitome of sin

 

 **queen bitch:** they would

 

 **precious:** Wait so you actually give Yaku shoulder rubs?

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** all the time

 

 **precious:** That’s actually really sweet…

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** its the least i can do for our team mom

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** we’re platonically married

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** kai calls us ‘court husband and wife’

 

 **tongue ring:** futakuchis rubbing my shoulders

 

 **tongue ring:** this is orGASMIC

 

 **queen bitch:** sure your shoulders arent the only things hes rubbing?

 

 **sneaky snek:** -_-

 

 **precious:** Shouldn’t Futakuchi be in this chat instead of me?

 

 **precious:** He is the current Datekou captain, after all…

 

 **tongue ring:** he said he doesnt want to be apart of this because apparently oikawa is a how

 

 **tongue ring:** *hoe

 

 **stressed dadchi:** He probably doesn’t want to have to compete with Daishou for Terushima’s attention.

 

 **sneaky snek:** he wouldnt win :)

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** o shIT WADDUP

 

 **tongue ring:** guys thhis shoulder rub us amazind fwehbsdddln

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** how to turn terushima yuuji into a pile of jello

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** a novel by futakuchi kenji

 

 **tongue ring:** uuuununununun

 

 **sneaky snek:** im not sure i like this

 

 **stressed dadchi:** You probably don’t.

 

 **sneaky snek:** holy crap youre right

 

 **tongue ring:** is a bacl rub now aubcpisdj

 

 **tongue ring:** terushima dropped his phone. he told me to tell you that he’s in heaven.

 

 **sneaky snek:** i havent felt this angry since i saw kuroos face the other day

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** i really dont like you

 

 **sneaky snek:** i think ill be able to get over it

 

 **tongue ring:** guys he’s literally moaning this is hilarious.

 

 **queen bitch:** sounds like you two are really going at it

 

 **tongue ring:** ;)

 

 **precious:** Futakuchi, this is your senpai. Stop turning Terushima into a blob

 

 **tongue ring:** sure thing, precious.

 

 **precious:** Dammit Daishou…

 

 **sneaky snek:** look lets not point fingers or play the blame game here, everyone agrees youre precious kaname

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** aye if you think moniwa is precious

 

 **queen bitch:**  AYEEEEE

 

 **tongue ring:**  ayeyyeeyye

 

 **tendou bitch:**  Aye

 

 **sneaky snek:**  AYEYEYYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYYE

 

 **Kuroo's babe:**  ayeeeeeee

 

 **stressed dadchi:**  Aye?

 

 **Bokuto's babe:**  ayeeeee

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** its settled then

**Bokuto’s babe:** moniwa you are officially precious, motion moved

**tongue ring:** orgasssssssmmmmmmmmicccccccc

**queen bitch:** im imagining this like one of those sexscenes in the movies where terushimas on his stomach and futakuchi is like straddling his waist and rubbing his back all sensually

**Kuroo’s babe:** thats hot

**tongue ring:** youeore tellingm e

**Bokuto’s babe:** that is one long ass back rub

**tongue ring:** im making sure all the kinks are out.

**Bokuto’s babe:** ohoho?

**tongue ring:** ;)

**sneaky snek:** WHY IDDNT YO UTELL ME ABIUR THIER RELATIOFNSHIP PRECIOSUY

**precious:** I assume that’s me.

**precious:** It didn’t seem important. How was I supposed to know that Futakuchi would give him a back rub?

**sneaky snek:** ummmmmmmmmmm idk ,jsu f give me a waringv of somr kinds???????/////

**stressed dadchi:** Are you alright, Daishou?

**sneaky snek:** im fine daddy

**Bokuto’s babe:** oh god

**sneaky snek:** im getting back at him

**queen bitch:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAFvlknsT4U ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KAFvlknsT4U)

**sneaky snek:** wakatoshi

**tendou bitch:** Yes?

**Bokuto’s babe:** NO DONT YOU DARE

**sneaky snek:** youre like really great at volleyball

**sneaky snek:** do you think you could help me with my spikes sometime

**sneaky snek:** or maybe my receives?

**tendou bitch:** Well, Nohebi’s receives don’t need that much work. You have the same amount of tenacity that Nekoma has.

**sneaky snek:** oh, im MUCH better at receiving than anyone on nekoma is

**tendou bitch:** Really? Their libero seems pretty talented… 

**Bokuto’s babe:** lmao yakkun

**sneaky snek:** fukin christ

**sneaky snek:** i wanna suck your dick 

**tendou bitch:** Oh

**tendou bitch:** Well

**tendou bitch:** NO WAKATISHO IS MY MAN

**tendou bitch:** DONT THINK I HAVENT HEARD OF YOU YOU SNEK

**tendou bitch:** YOUR TRAINING CAMP ESCAPADES ARE FAR FROM SCERET

**sneaky snek:** well hello there tendou

**sneaky snek:** nice to finally meet you

**tendou bitch:** oh i WISH I COULD SAYC THE SAME

**Kuroo’s babe:** satori baby how are you

**tendou bitch:** im good kou thanks for asking

**tendou bitch:** now daishou

**sneaky snek:** yes

**tendou bitch:** you need to  bsrrrrrrrravuiiiiiiiiiiiiidsj cu;qug

**tendou bitch:** Sorry about that he usually never gets jealous

**queen bitch:** probably cuz daishous so pretty

**sneaky snek:** thx bae 

^^^

**queen bitch:** tendou was jealous cuz daishous a hoe

**Bokuto’s babe:** obviously

^^^

**queen bitch:** anytime 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> turns out it was the fucking emojis fml


	5. some baby swans for the soul

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby swans infiltrating Paps swan's phone because Mama swan gave them the password, and some actual face to face connection making.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This update is super short because the next chapter is gonna be really long so yeah

**tendou bitch:** so this is the infamous captains groupchat?

 

 **tendou bitch:** interesting

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** new phone who dis

 

 **tendou bitch:** its shirabu feat. goshiki keeping watch

 

 **_queen bitch has changed tendou bitch’s name to_ ** **_baby swans_ ** **_._ **

 

 **baby swans:** wait… kuroo’s babe as in kuroo tetsurou?

 

 **baby swans:** from nekoma?

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** the one and only

 

 **baby swans:** AND BOKUTO KOUTAROU FROM FUKURODANI

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** yo

 

 **baby swans:** ar you two dating??????????

 

 **baby swans:** that was goshiki, please don’t judge his inability to type and have regards for others.

 

 **baby swans:** shirabu-senpai is a meanie tell everyone you know

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** ITS OKAY GISHKI I HTINK YOURE COOL

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** and yes we’re dating

 

 **baby swans:** bokuto-senpai!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 **baby swans:** cool

 

 **queen bitch:** hey

 

 **queen bitch:** this is oikawa

 

 **queen bitch:** tell your entire team that they suck and im glad they lost against karasuno

 

 **queen bitch:** and you two are awful and i hate you both

 

 **baby swans:** goshiki is tearing up nice job

 

 **queen bitch:** i dont care

 

 **queen bitch:** hes a little shit anyway

 

 **baby swans:** that may be true BUT

 

 **baby swans:** hes OUR little shit

 

 **baby swans:** and by ‘our’ i mean shiratorizawa not you

 

 **baby swans:** peasant

 

 **queen bitch:** excuse me

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Shirabu, what position do you play?

 

 **baby swans:** ummm setter?

 

 **stressed dadchi:** You’re only a second year, right?

 

 **baby swans:** yeah…

 

 **stressed dadchi:** And there’s a third year setter as well who doesn’t get to play as much because of you, correct?

 

 **baby swans:** uh huh…

 

 **baby swans:** semi-senpai calls shirabu-senpai an ‘annoying and ungrateful useless kouhai’!

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** that boy is the second most salty being on this good earth…

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** right behind tsukki

 

 **stressed dadchi:** I don’t know much about Semi, but I’ll take your word on it.

 

 **sneaky snek:** tbh semi is lowkey my spirit animal

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** THATS WHAT AKKASHI SAID ONCE

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** except semi doesnt hide his evilness as well as akaashi does

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** akaashi hides his behind his beautiful face

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** actually kenma does that too

 

 **baby swans:** when i first met semi-senpai he was really nice! Then he hit tendou-senpai and called him a dumbass…

 

 **queen bitch:** get rekt

 

 **tongue ring:** oikawa youre one to talk

 

 **tongue ring:** you pretend youre all sweet and cute but we all know youre a demon

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Suga does that, too. He once crushed Tanaka and Nishinoya’s spirits then left like he didn’t do anything wrong.

 

 **stressed dadchi:** When they told me about it, I actually didn’t believe them at first.

 

 **queen bitch:** terushima i am not the evil one on my team

 

 **queen bitch:** yahaba-kun may look like a creampuff, but hes actually satan

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** IS ANYONE SENSING THE PATTERN HERE

 

 **stressed dadchi:** They’re all setters…

 

 **precious:** I’m not evil :)

 

 **queen bitch:** that smiley face looks evil hes a witch burn him at the stake

 

 **tongue ring:** look me in the eye and tell me youve never wanted to murder one of your kouhai

 

 **tongue ring:** or one of your fellow third years, for that matter

 

 **precious:** Terushima, I am appalled! I would never wish ill upon any of my teammates!

 

 **baby swans:** i smell sarcasm…

 

 **baby swans:** and believe me, i KNOW sarcasm

 

 **sneaky snek:** what about futakuchi?

 

 **precious:** Hes a selfish brat and a little shit, but I don’t hold that against him.

 

 **queen bitch:** what about that new setter? the tall one?

 

 **precious:** Koganegawa?

 

 **precious:** He… tries his best.

 

 **tongue ring:** headline: precious wants to be rid of his annoying ass kouhai

 

 **precious:** Fine, you got me. But I do care about them, don’t get me wrong.

 

 **baby swans:** stop getting sentimental ushijima-san told us daishou was calling him daddy and tendou-san got jealous

 

 **baby swans:** i need ACTION

 

 **baby swans:** waht happened to those back rubs i heard about?

 

 **tongue ring:** good times

 

 **sneaky snek:** i will murder futakuchi kenji

 

 **precious:** You stay away from my son.

 

 **baby swans:** this is more like it

 

 **baby swans:** SHIT tendou-san saw us!!!!

 

 **baby swans:** quick have a fight to the death before he gets here!!!!

 

 **tongue ring:** when i was your age, i wouldve said the saem thing

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Terushima… you’re both second years.

 

 **tongue ring:** DONT TELL ME WHAT I AM

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Shirabu, Goshiki, can you actually get Ushijima?

 

 **stressed dadchi:** I need to ask him something.

 

 **baby swans:** no you karasuno scum

 

 **baby swans:** ill get him!

 

 **baby swans:** im killing our first year say goodbye while you still can

 

 **baby swans:** I’m back.

 

 **baby swans:** I need to change my password

 

 **baby swans:** I don’t know how they got it in the first place, actually

 

 **precious:** Tendou?

 

 **baby swans:** Probably.

 

 **_Bokuto’s babe has changed baby swans’s name to_ ** **_papa swan_ ** **_._ **

 

 **papa swan:** So Daichi, what did you need to ask me?

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Oh. Well, I wanted to ask all of you something.

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** OH WE SHOULD ALL HANG OUT

 

 **stressed dadchi:** … Took the words right out of my mouth.

 

 **papa swan:** Oh, well then sure.

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** IM IN

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** if bo’s in im in

 

 **precious:** I’ll go!

 

 **sneaky snek:** no way im missing hanging out with precious

 

 **sneaky snek:** ill come

 

 **tongue ring:** me too

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Oikawa?

 

 **queen bitch:** geez fine if you insist

 

 **queen bitch:** god you guys are so obsessed with me

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** you guys should come to tokyo

 

 **queen bitch:** hell no

 

 **tongue ring:** yeah five out of the eight of us are in miyagi

 

 **tongue ring:** YOU come to US

 

 **sneaky snek:** im tempted to say no just because im mad at you

 

 **precious:** Say yes, Daishou, I wanna meet you in person.

 

 **sneaky snek:** okay

 

 **sneaky snek:** for you, precious

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** KUROO AND I ARE GOING

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** we are?

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** WE ARE

 

 **queen bitch:** [ https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJZVRx80F8A ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GJZVRx80F8A)

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** so where are we meeting?

 

 **queen bitch:** train station?

 

 **sneaky snek:** is this an over one day thing

 

 **stressed dadchi:** We can do this over a weekend.

 

 **precious:** At a hotel?

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** MIYAGI HAS HOTELS??!??!?!??!?!

 

 **papa swan:** Yes?

 

 **tongue ring:** its not like we’re a primitive society…

 

 **sneaky snek:** you using big words is strangely attractive…

 

 **tongue ring:** why thank you

 

 **queen bitch:** so come on friday

 

 **queen bitch:** like after school and practice or whatever

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** as you wish, king

 

 **queen bitch:** -_-

 

^^^

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** IM SO EXCITED YOU GUYS DONT EVEN KNOW

 

 **sneaky snek:** ITS 4 IN THE FUCKING MORNING GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP

 

^^^

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** GNAHHHHHHHHH

 

 **tongue ring:** dad i love you but iM TRYING TO LEARN

 

^^^

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** TMORROW TOMROW TOMORROW

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** third times the charm i guess

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** princess go to sleep

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** I CANT IM TOO EXCITED

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** i know but you have to get your sleep

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** you get cranky if youre tired

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** D:

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** goodnight princess

**Kuroo’s babe:** goodnight tetsurou

^^^

**sneaky snek:** you two are just sickening to watch

**sneaky snek:** i got a cavity thx


	6. trash captains go to miyagi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new relationship, lots of emotional talks, general bonding, and, to top it all off, some truth or dare.
> 
> In "true Seijoh tradition", of course.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate this chapter so much. When I was writing it, it started off pretty smoothly but then it just turned horrible. I hope enjoy it anyway.

**Kuroo’s babe:** DAISHOU ARE YOU AT THE TRAIN STATiON

 

**sneaky snek:** yes?

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** DO YOU SEE US COME SIT WITH US

 

**sneaky snek:** i dont think kuroo would like that

 

**sneaky snek:** i dont think I would like that

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** SCREW HIM COME SIT WITH US

 

**sneaky snek:** …

 

**sneaky snek:** fine

 

^^^

 

All Daishou has to do is look up to see Bokuto waving at him excitedly, a less-than-excited Kuroo holding onto his other hand. He tentatively walks over to them and Bokuto wraps him into a hug. 

 

“You look so cute!” He says, smiling. Daishou blushes a little, pulling out of the hug. “Hi, Tetsu,” the Nohebi captain smirks. “Yeah, hi,” Kuroo mutters, reaching for Bokuto’s hand again. “Let’s go or we’ll miss the train.”

 

They wait by the train, Kuroo avoiding the slightest amount of eye contact with Daishou and Bokuto bouncing happily. “Calm down, Bo,” Kuroo laughs fondly, and Bokuto turns to him with a bright smile. “I can’t help it! We’re going to see Daichi and Oikawa and Tershima and Ushiwaka and Moniwa and ah! I can’t wait!” He grips onto his boyfriend’s arm. Kuroo kisses his cheek lightly, eliciting a blush and a squeak out of the Fukurodani captain. 

 

Daishou pretends to gag.

 

Once the train pulls up and they get on, the three of them are able to find a spot on the bench. Bokuto sits in between them, in a temporary show of awareness to the fact that Kuroo and Daishou obviously don’t want to be near each other. 

 

It’s a long train ride, and Bokuto ends up falling asleep, much to the two other captain’s chagrin. Daishou crosses his arms, turning away and refusing to make eye contact. He feels a weight on his shoulder and turns to see Bokuto’s head as well as Kuroo’s glare weighing just as heavy.

 

Daishou gently tries to push Bokuto back over in favor of Kuroo, but he’s not having it. He finally makes eye contact with Kuroo to give him a ‘what the hell do you want me to do about it?’ look.

 

Kuroo just scoffs and turns away. They don’t say a word for the rest of the train ride.

 

They finally reach Miyagi after about three hours. Bokuto springs awake the second the train stops, immediately bouncing in his seat again. Kuroo glances at him with a soft smile, all traces of anger or annoyance gone.

 

Daishou steps off the train first, the other two captains following. Bokuto darts his head around looking for the other captains. “Oh, oh, I see Terushima!” He points, then waves happily.

 

“How did you find him so fast?” Kuroo asks, amused. “I can spot that hair from a mile away, easy,” Bokuto replies. “Well, they say owls can see better from far away than they can up close,” Daishou mutters, and Kuroo lets out a small, involuntary laugh.

 

“Suguru!” Daishou is enveloped in a tight hug, his feet lifted off the ground. “Yuuji?” He asks, laughing and burying his face into Terushima’s neck. “It’s like watching one of those army couples reunite,” Oikawa’s voice mutters, forever living up to his ‘queen bitch’ name. 

 

“Was the train ride awkward?” Oikawa asks Kuroo in a subdued voice. The Nekoma captain nods. “Beyond belief. Bo fell asleep halfway through, so we didn’t have any buffer.”

 

“That’s terrible. I don’t think I would’ve been able to last on that long of a train ride with Ushiwaka.”

 

They both look up to where Bokuto is in the process of trying to get a piggy back ride from Ushijima (who will probably end up saying yes, since no one can resist Bokuto’s puppy eyes) and Daichi and Moniwa are suffering from extreme secondhand embarrassment like the parents that they are.

 

“Let’s go, all of you are disappointments,” Daichi says. Oikawa laughs, walking from Kuroo’s side and over to Daichi’s. 

 

“You sound just like Iwa-chan.”

^^^

 

“Bokuto, please stop jumping on the bed.”

 

“No, Terushima, don’t take anything from the mini-bar!”

 

“I swear to god, Oikawa,  _ one more  _ alien movie -”

 

“Kuroo, don’t you dare have phone sex while the rest of us are in the room.”

 

“I’m beginning to think this was a bad decision,” Moniwa mutters to Daichi. “Yeah, little bit,” Daichi agrees, nodding morosely.

 

“Kuroo, where’s Daishou?” Kuroo looks up from his phone at Daichi’s question and shrugs. “How do you expect me to know?” 

 

“Well, if he went missing, you’d be the first person to know where the body was!” Bokuto says cheerily, jumping from one bed onto the other and landing on top of Kuroo with a grunt.

 

“He’s in the shower,” Ushijima says. Terushima frowns. “Without me?”

 

“Jesus christ, you’re the textbook definition of fuckboy,” Oikawa mutters from his spot perched on the bed and flipping through the movies on the TV screen in front of them. So far, they hadn’t done anything except stay in the hotel watching low budget alien movies (courtesy of one Oikawa Tooru). 

 

The door to the bathroom opens and Daishou walks out, instantly walking over to Terushima and sitting next to him. He throws his legs over the slightly confused second year’s lap. “I just shaved my legs. Wanna feel?”

 

Terushima runs his hands over Daishou’s shins. “So smooth,” he says, strangely impressed. Kuroo rolls his eyes, looking back down to his phone where he’s currently texting Kenma. Bokuto frowns from his spot on top of his boyfriend. 

 

“We should probably go to bed,” Daichi says, falling dramatically onto the other bed. “Lame,” Terushima says, his hands still resting on Daishou’s legs. “Sawamura is right, guys. We should get some sleep,” Moniwa adds quietly. 

 

Kuroo nods slowly, putting down his phone and whispering something in Bokuto’s ear. The Fukurodani captain giggles and buries his face into his boyfriend’s neck. Kuroo kisses the top of his head. 

 

Daishou pretends to gag for a second time that day.

 

Terushima laughs a little, pulling Daishou fully into his lap as Moniwa grabs Daichi’s arm and pulls him off the bed he had previously landed on. “We’ll go to our room,” he says as he gives a cute wave to the four boys on the two beds in the room. Oikawa and Ushijima follow the other Miyagi captains, Oikawa grumbling something about having to share a room with ‘stupid Ushiwaka’. 

 

Daishou leans his head against Terushima’s and links their fingers together. “You two are gross.” The statement is followed by a smack sound and a muttered ‘ow’ from Kuroo. Daishou simply rolls his eyes. He looks down at Terushima’s hand which is still holding his smaller one. 

 

“Are… Are your nails painted?” Terushima blushes intensely, but nods nonetheless. “Why…?” Daishou mumbles. Terushima looks down. “W-Well, I figured you would have yours painted, since in the video call, they were. So I asked Hana-san—she’s our manager—to, like, help me paint mine?”

 

Daishou smiles and leans his head onto Terushima’s shoulder. He links their fingers together again, since they had gotten detached in the Johzenji captain’s nervousness. He looks at Terushima’s plain black nails and his dark green ones.

 

“Thank you,” he whispers, kissing Terushima’s cheek lightly. Another blush breaks out onto Terushima’s face—not that the first one ever really left—and he looks down again. His other hand grips lightly on Daishou’s waist to acknowledge him.

 

“That was adorable, but would you kindly go the fuck to sleep?” Kuroo’s voice asks from the bed beside them. Terushima nods - even though Kuroo probably can’t see him - and goes to turn off the light on the bedside table. 

 

They get under the covers and Daishou faces Terushima. “Just so you know, I’m kind of a blanket hog,” he whispers. “Oh, that’s fine. I’m a cuddler, so don’t shoot me with pepper spray,” Terushima replies. Daishou laughs a little. “Yuuji, I wouldn’t dream of it.”

 

He scoots closer to Terushima and buries his head into his chest. Right before he drifts to sleep, he hears the other captain say, “I’m going to get into that mini-bar if it’s the last thing I do.”

 

He has to hide his laughs in Terushima’s chest.

 

^^^

 

“I don’t get why the two most responsible people aren’t rooming with  _ Kuroo and Daishou. _ I mean, who’s idea was that anyway? Not to mention, Terushima and Bokuto, which can never turn out good. In fact, this whole system is just terrible and - mmpf!” Daichi holds the pillow on Oikawa’s face and the Seijoh captain kicks at him.

 

“Shut up, Oikawa,” Daichi says, yawning a little. Moniwa takes pity on him and removes the pillow from his face, sighing. “Futakuchi did that to the first years. Smothered them with pillows as a form of ‘initiation’.”

 

“At least I know how Kuroo gets his hair like that,” Oikawa mutters, straightening his hair out in the mirror. Ushijima watches him curiously from his spot on one of the beds. 

 

“I’m sleeping with Precious,” Oikawa states. Moniwa nods, deciding not to fight it. Daichi nods, too; falling on top of Ushijima, who grunts. “Goodnight,” he whispers.

 

“He’s a different person when he’s tired,” Moniwa comments. “But you’re just as precious,” Oikawa adds. The retired Datekou captain turns to him, confused. “What does that have to do with anything?” Oikawa shrugs. “Just in case you forgot that you were precious.”

 

“Thanks, but I think that’s been permanently etched in my brain. It’ll haunt me until my death,” he says. Oikawa smiles. “I don’t want to think about your death. The world will become a darker place without your precious purity.”

 

Moniwa smiles softly, getting under the covers on the bed. Oikawa follows. 

 

“I need to ask you something,” the Seijoh captain whispers after a couple minutes of silence. “Do… Do you actually like Aone?” Moniwa turns on his side to face him. “Romantically,” he replies. Oikawa furrows his eyebrows. “What do you mean?” 

 

“I’m asexual. Homoromantic.”

 

Oikawa looks down. “I… don’t get it. So… you don’t experience sexual attraction, but you want to date a guy?” Moniwa nods. “Pretty much. I’m attracted to guys in a love kind of way, but I just don’t have any desire to have sex.”

 

“That’s cool,” Oikawa says. Moniwa blushes, looking away. “It’s weird,” he corrects. Oikawa smiles. “Maybe. But weird is cool.”

 

“What about you?” Moniwa asks. “You seem to like your ace quite a bit.”

 

“Iwa-chan? We’ve been best friends since we were, like, three. We know each other better than anyone else,” Oikawa responds quickly. Moniwa raises an eyebrow. “Nothing else?”

 

Oikawa shakes his head. “Nothing else,” he assures, and his voice holds a tone of finality, so Moniwa decides not to ask anymore questions. “Okay,” he sighs, turning over and closing his eyes. “Goodnight, Tooru.”

 

“G’night, Precious.”

 

^^^

 

Ushijima’s eyes open at the sound of the door to the balcony being opened. He somehow manages to push Daichi off his chest and stands up, grabbing his jacket off the chair where he left it and following the person outside.

 

Oikawa is sitting on one of the chairs, and barely turns around when Ushijima walks out. The Shiratorizawa captain places his jacket around Oikawa’s shoulders. “It’s cold out,” he explains vaguely when Oikawa looks up at him curiously. “I don’t want your stupid jacket, Ushiwaka,” he huffs, but holds the jacket tighter around his shoulders.

 

“Why are you awake?” Ushijima asks. Oikawa sighs like answering the question is a great inconvenience. “Well, obviously I couldn’t sleep. That’s why most people are awake, right?” Ushijima looks at him confusedly, blinks, and turns to look at the sky again. “I guess.”

 

“Why’d you come out here?” Oikawa asks, not looking at the other captain. “I heard you come out here, so I thought something might be wrong,” Ushijima replies, “I heard your conversation with Moniwa.”

 

“So what?”

 

“So, it reminded me to tell you that I have also noticed that you and Iwaizumi are close. You two act like an old married couple.”

 

Oikawa huffs. “Says the guy who literally tells his boyfriend everything.” Ushijima fixes him with a hard stare. “Ugh, it’s just not fair! Daichi has Suga, Kuroo and Bokuto are dating each other  _ and  _ Kenma and Akaashi, Daishou and Terushima have… whatever it is they have, I’m pretty sure Moniwa’s dating one of his kouhai -” he pauses, turning to gesture at Ushijima, “even you have your stupid middle blocker. What do I have?”

 

“Years of friendship and obvious chemistry with Iwaizumi.” Oikawa frowns at his blunt tone. “You’re wrong,” he mutters, crossing his arms. “And you’re in denial,” Ushijima says, standing up and walking back into the room. Oikawa lets out a huff as the door slides shut, pulling the jacket tighter around his shoulders.

 

He does not like Iwaizumi. They’re just friends. Just. Best. Friends. That’s… all they’ll ever be… 

 

Oikawa looks up at the stars in the sky, sighs, and stands up from the chair, reluctantly walking back into their room. He slides open the door that Ushijima left slightly ajar, shutting it behind him. He climbs back into bed next to Moniwa, the boy immediately turning to cuddle into his side.

 

Maybe he does like Iwaizumi. But he’s sure as hell not going to admit it.

 

^^^

 

“G’morning!” 

 

Daichi groans, turning onto his side. “Aww, Daichi, don’t be like that… wake up!” The bed starts to bounce up and down, no doubt a certain second year captain’s doing. “Come on, sleepyhead! I’m ready to have fun!”

 

Daichi groans again, opening his eyes just enough to look at the clock on the bedside table. “It’s 8:30 in the morning…” he mutters, throwing a hand over his face. “And I’m not gettin’ any younger! Let’s go, I can feel my years drifting away!”

 

“Where’s your keeper?”

 

“Yuuji, get off of him. He’s a tired dad.”

 

“Thank god for you, Daishou.”

 

“That’s what I keep saying.”

 

Terushima is now no longer jumping on the bed, but Daichi can still feel his eyes on him. He dares to take a peek and sees the second year with a stubborn pout and his arms crossed like a petulant child.  _ Why Nishinoya and Tanaka wanted to fight this guy, I’ll never know…  _

 

“Fine, I’m up, I’m up, stop staring at me,” Daichi caves, sitting up and fixing Terushima with a glare as the boy lets out a triumphant ‘whoo!’ and smiles like he just won the lottery. Moniwa laughs quietly from where he’s getting ready by the mirror, a still lethargic Oikawa next to him. 

 

“You didn’t stop him?”

 

“Daishou seemed to have him under control,” Moniwa replies, voice soft but a teasing smirk on his lips. “Besides, it was cute,” he adds, “like watching a child wake up his dad on Christmas.”

 

“Or that one moment in Lion King,” Oikawa interjects, fluffing up his hair more and spraying it with hairspray. “You know, when Simba woke up Mufasa in the beginning of the movie…” Moniwa nods in agreement.

 

“Does that mean I’m Nala?” Daishou asks, looking up from his nails. “You are Nala always,” Terushima responds, sitting next to him on Moniwa and Oikawa’s neatly made bed (probably courtesies of Moniwa). “Where are Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dumb?” Oikawa asks.

 

As if on cue, the door swings open, followed by a particularly loud, “Hey, hey, hey!” and a shush from Daichi and Moniwa. Kuroo laughs, placing a hand on Bokuto’s arm. “He’s lively in the morning.” 

 

“And the afternoon, and at night,” Oikawa adds under his breath.

 

“What do you guys want to do today?” Daichi asks. “I dunno. You guys know this place better than we do,” Bokuto says, gesturing to himself, Kuroo, and Daishou before landing heavily on the bed where Terushima and the Nohebi captain are sitting. “There’s a zoo in Sendai that we could go to,” Ushijima suggests. Bokuto gasps, then nods fervently.

 

“Yes, yes, yes! Kuro, can we?”

 

“Why are you asking me?”

 

“We’ll figure out the rest of the details later, let’s go before the crowds get there!” Terushima says, standing up and grabbing Daishou’s hand. 

 

“Wait, Daichi isn’t even dressed yet!”

 

^^^

 

“I wanna see the owls first!” Bokuto says loudly, turning a few heads. “No,” Oikawa replies simply. “Aww, Tooru, why not?” Oikawa blushes at the use of his given name, but quickly recovers. “Because, they’re all the way on the other side of the park. We’re not spending the whole day -”

 

“We’ll make our way there, Bokuto,” Moniwa promises in a gentle tone; one that he’s clearly been perfecting over the years of having to deal with his team. Kuroo takes his boyfriend’s hand as if to make sure he doesn’t run. He’s done so before.

 

The first exhibit they see is the snakes, ironically enough. This, of course, cause Bokuto to whine about how it wasn’t fair that Daishou got to see  _ his  _ team mascot before Bokuto saw his as Daishou stares with sparkling eyes at the reptiles behind the glass. Terushima is behind him, his shoulders tense as he practically crushes Daishou’s hand from fear.

 

He gets even more terrified when a friendly employee comes over to them and invites them to hold a garter snake, which Daishou readily accepts. “So cute,” he coos as the snake wraps itself around his hand. “Yuuji, look!” He turns to Terushima, who flinches away. “Oh, yeah, great,” he mutters.

 

Kuroo notices a flash of understanding pass through Daishou’s eyes before a smirk crosses his face. If Daishou were a nice person, he would calmly take the snake away from Terushima. But no, Daishou Suguru is a problematic antagonist that likes to use people’s weaknesses against them. 

 

“Yuuji, hold it, it won’t hurt you,” Daishou smirks, holding the snake out to Terushima. “N-No, I’m good,” the Johzenji captain stutters back, slowly moving to hide behind Ushijima. “C’mon, Yuu-chan~”

 

“Daishou,” Moniwa and Daichi say, frighteningly insync. Daishou pouts, stepping away from Terushima and handing the snake back to the employee. He whispers an earnest ‘thank you’ and the worker smiles, walking away to another group of guests. Daishou is still bouncing as they walk to the next exhibit, Oikawa walking next to him and continuously telling him ‘ _ you’re so rude’ _ .

 

They make their way through all the exhibits at the zoo, Oikawa pointing out more than one animal and saying ‘ _ it looks just like you, Ushiwaka!’ _ . He even takes pictures and sends them to Iwaizumi.

 

“You’re probably gonna be one of those bitches with an over five hundred second long story by the end of the day, Oikawa,” Daishou comments after Oikawa takes another selfie with him. “Oh, please. People who see my story should consider themselves blessed.”

 

Bokuto is practically vibrating by the time they reach the bird exposition. “Kuro, look! It’s so cool!” He pulls his boyfriend towards the window blocking them from the habitat. 

 

“There’s no crows,” Moniwa comments to Daichi, “you upset?”

 

Daichi shakes his head, then opens his mouth to retort. “I actually don’t know your mascot, so I don’t know what to say.”

 

Moniwa doesn’t waste a second before gasping comedically, walking over to one of the brick walls of the room. “Oh my god, this wall is so great! Daichi, get a picture!” He gets many stares, but for once, it doesn’t look like he cares all that much. Oikawa laughs a little before running up next to him. “So true! C’mon, Dai, quick, before it goes away!” Daichi laughs to himself before reluctantly taking a picture of the two boys posing on the wall like losers. They’re clearly mocking Bokuto, who is taking a selfie with Kuroo by the window of the owl exhibit. 

 

Daichi shows his phone to the two boys that were previously plastering themselves against the wall. “Send that to me!” Moniwa gushes, and Oikawa nods. “Me too! I need to show it to Iwa-chan, I look hot.”

 

^^^

 

“I’m hungry,” Bokuto says, holding onto Kuroo’s hand as they walk through the end of the zoo, near the exit. There’s a stuffed owl in his other hand that Kuroo bought him, and a stuffed panther in the Nekoma captain’s hand that Bokuto bought him. 

 

“There’s that one ramen place,” Oikawa says, and the other Miyagi captains nod in complete understanding. “I love that place,” Daichi adds.

 

As they walk to the restaurant, Terushima and Bokuto are chanting ‘ramen!’ repeatedly, which goes on for about five minutes before Daichi slaps his hands over their mouths. “Shut  _ up _ ,” he hisses. Terushima and Bokuto exchange a side glance before they both lick Daichi’s hand at the same time. He flinches back and moves back to walk beside Ushijima.

 

The two exuberant captains laugh loudly, high-fiving each other. “What are you teaching our son?” Kuroo asks Bokuto, but he’s laughing, too. Daishou gives Daichi a side hug. “Dad is eternally suffering,” he says, then walks away to hold Terushima’s hand. Bokuto sees Kuroo giving them (read: Daishou) a subtle glare (read: not that subtle at all). He huffs, frowning, causing his boyfriend to look at him in confusion.

 

Bokuto unhooks their hands and walks faster to meet up with Oikawa. 

 

Kuroo looks down at the hand that Bokuto was just holding. It’s still buzzing from the touch of the Fukurodani captain. 

 

“You know he hates it when you do that,” Moniwa says, practically materializing out of nowhere. Kuroo looks up at him, furrowing his eyebrows. “Do what?” Moniwa gives him a look, and for some odd reason, Kuroo feels the same way he did when he was younger and his mom found out that he broke her favorite vase. “What you just did. He hates when you and Daishou fight.”

 

“We weren’t fighting,” the Nekoma captain protests. “Well, maybe not, but he’s more aware than you realize. And even I saw you glaring at Daishou and Terushima. Why do you two even hate each other?” Moniwa asks. Kuroo shrugs. “It’s just… a lot of things built up, I guess. I don’t even remember when it started.”

 

“Well, you need to get past it.” Kuroo frowns. “It’s not that -”

 

“Because personally, Bokuto doesn’t strike me as the type of guy who wants to start fights or watch fights if he knows they’re for no reason. And, now that I think about it, your other two boyfriends aren’t like that either. At least, from what I know of them.”

 

“But, he -” “I’m not saying he’s completely innocent, either. You two are both provocative assholes,” Moniwa interrupts, smiling that cute smile of his that makes him look like the purest thing there is. “Just try to be nicer. If I’m picking up on his personality, he won’t want to be outdone by you, even if it’s a ‘competition’ for treating each other better.”

 

They don’t say anything more, mind a sigh from Kuroo after Moniwa’s previous statement. By the time they reach the ramen restaurant, Bokuto and Oikawa are laughing loudly over something about aliens or their younger teammates, both of which would have been brought up by the Seijoh captain. 

 

“I swear, I could feel the sexual tension from the court! Yahaba-kun literally had him pinned against a wall, I’ve never seen him so docile. I’m so glad my successor trained Mad Dog-chan,” Oikawa says as they walk through the doors of the restaurant. “I mean, they would be an  _ amazing  _ couple. If they could both get over their petty hate for each other. The sex would probably be great.” A couple heads turn and Bokuto laughs. A mother pulls her daughter into her side and Daichi sends them an apologetic look, mouthing ‘I’m sorry’. He then lightly smacks Bokuto and Oikawa upside their heads.

 

“Idiots. There are kids here,” he says and Oikawa sticks his tongue out at him. Bokuto just pouts, rubbing the back of his head. “That was mean, Daichi,” he says sadly. 

 

They find a table big enough to seat all of them and sit down at it. They place their orders and Oikawa leans forward, resting his chin on his hands. “So, Daichi,” he starts, “you and Mr. Refreshing-kun are dating, are you not?” Daichi blushes a little, and Kuroo laughs, hitting his shoulder. “Sawamura is all flustered,” he teases.

 

“We are,” Daichi squeaks out, clearing his throat. “Since the end of our second year. After, uh, the game with Datekou, he was really upset — he’s the type to take all the blame for something — and we talked and we kissed and then the next day I asked him out,” he finishes, looking down with his cheeks as red as Kuroo’s jersey. Moniwa smiles. “I’m glad your crippling defeat by the hands of our iron wall worked for something,” he says. 

 

Daichi shrugs. “You still made our ace want to quit volleyball forever and subsequently caused our libero to be banned from club activities for a month, but hey, silver linings, I guess.” Moniwa blushes at that, and Oikawa mutters out a bitter, “well, it all worked out great for you in the end, though, didn’t it?”

 

Not wanting to start a fight in the middle of a restaurant (not that Daichi would fight; it would be Oikawa fighting Daichi with the Karasuno captain just sitting there like ‘what the hell’), Bokuto steps in. “So, Ushiwaka, how did you and Tendou get together?”

 

Their food gets delivered and Ushijima stirs his ramen around, letting it cool off. “Well, in our first year, we were both in the volleyball club. I noticed him because he kept arguing with the coach on what the ‘right way’ to block was. He was just so loud and happy all the time, and he was great at riling up the other team. We had our English class together, and I guess he didn’t have any other friends beside Semi, so he just started talking to me and we became friends,” he says. Daishou lets out an ‘aw’ and Terushima smiles. “He used a lot of anime and movie references, most that I hadn’t even heard of, but I didn’t mind. It was… cute to see him so excited about the things he liked.

 

“Apparently, whenever he talked to anyone else, they wouldn’t listen to him because he just kept rambling on and on. He was very intriguing, and I had never really known anyone like him at that level. He made me feel… normal, I suppose,” Ushijima continues. “This is so cute I wanna cry,” Kuroo whispers, Bokuto nodding in agreement. 

 

“I found out that he had gotten bullied in grade school from Semi, and I couldn’t believe that that could happen to someone as amazing as him. I went to Satori’s house that day and he told me all about it. He told me that the only thing that made him feel better up until high school was his blocking and volleyball in general, but then he said I helped him feel more normal. We confessed to each other and he made me watch Naruto for the rest of the night,” Ushijima concludes and Kuroo laughs. “There it is!” “That sounds more like Tendou,” Bokuto joins in.

 

“That’s really cute, though, Wakatoshi,” Daishou says. 

 

“Yeah. Straight out of a storybook,” Moniwa agrees. 

 

“More like gay out of a storybook,” Oikawa mutters, sipping his drink. “You’re so bitter, Oikawa,” Terushima says. Oikawa shrugs. “I’m petty.”

 

“Okay, look,” Daishou says, gaining Oikawa’s attention. “We need to get you that bara,” he continues. Oikawa raises an eyebrow. “You… You mean Iwa-chan?”

 

“Yes. You deserve love, Oikawa. And you can deny it all you want, but we all know that you like him.” Oikawa opens his mouth to protest but Daishou leans over the table, pressing a finger to his lips. “Shh, let me finish. We’re gonna get you your man.” 

 

“Really?” Oikawa asks disbelievingly. Daishou nods like he’s offended. “Really. I am a certified love expert. I know how to get people together,” he says. Kuroo scoffs. “Like who?” “Well, I got my precious first year the boy he liked—kind of a twink, baseball team, very similar personality to myself; I definitely approved,” Daishou explains, glaring at Kuroo. “And what have you done lately, Tetsu?”

 

Kuroo glares back, opening his mouth to retort, but Bokuto stops him. “The point is, Oikawa, you and Iwaizumi should’ve been dating awhile ago. We’re gonna help you make up for that lost time.”

 

“You guys aren’t going to get anywhere. We’re just best friends,” Oikawa says, starting to eat his ramen. Terushima gives Daichi a look, and the Karasuno captain nods. 

 

“So, subject change. The other day I was at practice with the new team, right, to see how well Yahaba-kun could lead them, and he was actually doing pretty well. That is, until he and Mad Dog-chan started fighting. Iwa-chan and Makki had to pull them apart,” Oikawa says. “Wait, so they actually got in an honest to god fist fight?” Daichi asks. “Yeah, they ‘hate’ each other. You can’t honestly tell me that Tobio-chan and Chibi-chan haven’t tried to kill each other.” Daichi shrugs. 

 

“They hit each other sometimes, but that’s normal for them. I actually think they like each other,” he says. Bokuto gasps. “Hinata is in love! I’m so proud!”

 

“It’s kind of obvious with their chemistry on the court. They clearly have something special,” Kuroo adds. “I’ve never played against you guys! We need to have a practice match, I’ll put in a good word with our coach,” Daishou winks. Daichi shrugs. “It could be good practice. I’ve heard that your team likes to pick out weaknesses and I’d like to see how my team would handle that,” he says. 

 

Kuroo laughs a little, nudging Bokuto. “Even Miyagi captains know,” he says and Bokuto chuckles. 

 

“But, other than that, I’ve heard that your receives are deadly, too,” Daichi adds, causing Daishou to smile proudly. “Yeah, my receives are probably the best in the entire Tokyo region,” he purrs and Kuroo puts his head in his hands. Oikawa and Bokuto start laughing and Daichi sighs. Moniwa giggles into his hand while Ushijima squints his eyes, cocking his head confusedly. Terushima locks eyes with Daishou and the Nohebi captain winks at him.

 

“Do you guys not understand the fact that we’re in a public restaurant?” Daichi asks. Moniwa nods. “Yeah. No eye-fucking each other,” he says. Oikawa gasps as everyone else laughs. “Precious!” Daishou says, clearly just as surprised as everyone else. “Just because I choose not to swear doesn’t mean I can’t.”

 

“That just made my day,” Terushima says. Kuroo nods in agreement. 

 

^^^

 

“Our train leaves at seven tomorrow,” Kuroo says once they get back to the hotel. Terushima pouts. “But I don’t want you guys to go. You’re cool,” he says, wrapping his arm around Daishou’s shoulders. Daishou leans more into his side, taking Terushima’s hand in his. 

 

Kuroo looks at their linked hands, almost about to say something rude, but he knows that Bokuto’s eyes are on him, so he holds his tongue. He really hates when his boyfriends are mad at him. 

 

“We’re gonna miss you guys. It’s really been great seeing you all,” Oikawa says. “Especially since we’re graduating soon,” Ushijima adds. A silence falls over the captains. “Now, why would you bring that up?” Oikawa asks. 

 

“We can’t keep avoiding it. It’s inevitable,” Daichi points out. “But it’s not happening yet. We can pretend we’re staying here forever for a little while longer,” Oikawa argues. “Kinda want to purposely fail a class so I can stay in high school, but I know that I have to go to college,” Moniwa says, laying on his stomach on one of the beds.

 

“I really don’t want to leave my team. Or Satori,” Ushijima says. “Aren’t you going to the same college?” Bokuto asks. The Shiratorizawa captain shakes his head. “I got a scholarship for volleyball. Satori said he wants to major in journalism. He said he was going to be at every one of my games when I was on the Japan National team.” 

 

Oikawa bites his lip and scoots closer to Ushijima. “Ushiwaka,” he starts, “when you see Tendou next… promise me that you’ll tell him that you love him and you’ll never leave him.” Ushijima looks up at Oikawa, confused. “I can tell that he gets mad every time you tell me I should’ve gone to Shiratorizawa… he thinks he’s not good enough for you. He’s insecure, and I definitely know the feeling.

 

“And even though your entire team is annoying and rude,” Oikawa takes a deep breath, “he doesn’t deserve to feel like that. No one does.” He feels a hand on his shoulder and looks up to see Daichi. “You don’t, either. Don’t think you’re an exception, Tooru. You deserve happiness as much as anyone else.”

 

Oikawa’s eyes fill with tears, and he buries his face in Daichi’s shoulder before letting them fall. “You guys are the best,” he sobs. Daichi wraps his arm around Oikawa’s shoulders. “He’s right,” Terushima agrees. Daishou looks up at him. “You guys are amazing, and you’re all just so nice and cool, and I’m  _ really  _ going to miss you guys,” he says. Kuroo launches forward, holding the younger boy in a hug.

 

“I’ll miss you, too, Teru,” he says. “We all will. You need to promise you’ll keep the captains next year from killing each other, okay?” Moniwa adds. Terushima nods into Kuroo’s chest. “You’ll have Futakuchi,” the retired Datekou captain smiles.

 

“And Ennoshita,” Daichi says.

 

“And Yahaba. Don’t let ‘im scare you, he’s actually really sweet,” Oikawa adds. 

 

“Shirabu, too. He might seem like he doesn’t care, but that’s just a defense mechanism. You should see him with Semi when he thinks no one’s looking,” Ushijima inputs.

 

“You’ll have Akaashi there, too! He’s really smart and good at keeping people in line!” Bokuto smiles. 

 

“I’m pretty sure Fukunaga will end up being our captain next year. He’s quiet, but he could be a good leader,” Kuroo starts, “also, you already have half a year of experience. You’ll be fine; you probably won’t even remember us,” he says. “But that’s not true! You guys are some of the best people I’ve ever met in my life! You’re all so important to me and I love you guys so much. I could never forget you,” Terushima protests, his voice getting quieter as he goes along. 

 

“Group hug on Teru!” Bokuto yells, running forward and wrapping his arms around both Kuroo and Terushima. 

 

Daishou smiles as everyone joins the hug. Terushima looks down at him and kisses the top of his head lightly. 

 

“I’ll miss you,” the Nohebi captain whispers. Terushima doesn’t say anything, but he squeezes Daishou’s shoulder gently, letting him know that he heard.

 

^^^

 

“What are you doing out here, Suguru?” 

 

Daishou looks up at Terushima’s voice, shrugging. “Genuine emotions give me things to think about, I guess,” he says. The Johzenji captain chuckles, sitting next to Daishou in the other chair on the balcony. 

 

“Is that my shirt?” He asks. Daishou looks down, then nods shyly. “I-I hope you don’t mind, I kinda stole it,” he whispers. “Don’t worry about it. Looks good on you,” Terushima says. 

 

Daishou lets out a relieved sigh and leans his head on Terushima’s shoulder. 

 

“I could never see the stars in Tokyo,” Daishou says quietly, looking up at the star-filled sky. “Really?” Terushima asks. “Yeah. Too many city lights,” the Nohebi captain replies.

 

“Huh. It’s weird. I have the chance to see this everyday, but I’ve never really paid attention before,” Terushima says, looking up at the sky as well. A shooting star goes by and he lazily points it out. “Oh, make a wish.”

 

When Daishou doesn’t say anything for awhile, Terushima turns to look at him. The older boy is looking down at his hands. “What’s up?” 

 

“It’s funny. I’ve been with a lot of people, but it’s never actually, like,  _ meant  _ anything. You’re the first person who’s ever made me feel something,” Daishou explains. “Like what?” Terushima asks and the brunette sighs. “I don’t know. Like, happy, and shit. You make me feel like it’s all gonna be okay…” He trails off when he turns to see Terushima’s face closer to his than it was before.

 

“Like I don’t have to… pretend…” Daishou continues as the Johzenji captain’s hands fall to his waist. “You’ll never have to pretend around me,” Terushima promises. Daishou wraps his arms around his neck. “I know,” the Nohebi captain whispers before their lips meet in the middle. 

 

“I guess my wish came true,” Terushima says and Daishou giggles, pressing their lips together again.

 

^^^

 

“Hey, hey, hey, lovebirds!” 

 

Daishou groans, cuddling further into Terushima’s chest. 

 

“C’mon, Daishou, Teru, get up! We only have a couple hours left before the train leaves!”

 

“It leaves in, like, eight hours. We’re fine,” Daishou says, his voice muffled. A huff is heard before a weight falls on top of them, Terushima letting out a pained noise. “Bokuto, my hand is digging into my chest and it’s super uncomfortable,” he says quickly. “Get off, Bokuto!” Daishou yells, trying to push him off. 

 

“Dad, help me out!” Terushima says after he catches Kuroo’s eye. The Nekoma captain smirks and nods, taking a running start and jumping onto the bed, landing on top of Bokuto. “Oh sweet jesus, I’m going into the light!” Terushima wheezes out. Daishou manages a slight laugh. 

 

“Seriously, though, I can’t breath!” The Johzenji captain says. Kuroo smiles, reaching down past a laughing Bokuto and patting Terushima’s cheek. “Aww, c’mon, Teru. You just need to get ‘hyped up’, right?” 

 

Terushima pouts and shakes his head, trying to get Kuroo’s hand off his face. “Shut up, you asshole!”

 

“Tetsu, you rude ass hoe, get off of us!” Daishou hisses, trying to kick at the two (admittedly heavy) boys on top of him. “And stop touching my man!”

 

Kuroo sticks his tongue out at Daishou. “Guys, I feel like we’ve really gotten closer these past few days,” Bokuto says whimsically, holding his chin on his hand and looking off into the distance dramatically. “I hate you,” Terushima groans. Kuroo gasps. “Don’t talk to your father that way, young man!”

 

“Yo, super gays!”

 

All four of the boys look up to see Oikawa in the doorway with the other three Miyagi captains behind him. “If you’re quite finished with your orgy, we’d like to actually go somewhere today. Now, Precious came up with this really great idea for something, so get dressed because it’s already, like, noon, and your lazy asses are still in bed having morning sex.”

 

“Well, damn, Tooru, tell us what you really think,” Daishou says after there’s a moment of silence. Oikawa smiles cutely, giving a quick peace sign before walking into their room like he owns the place. “So, all jokes aside, Suguru, you and Undercut look pretty close there,” Oikawa smiles menacingly. Daishou huffs, still pushing at Bokuto’s chest. “Well, Tooru,” - push - “Yuuji and I had a very in depth talk yesterday, and we established - Bokuto, I swear to god - that we liked each other,” he says, sighing in exasperation and flopping down on the bed defeatedly. 

 

“Sawamura, do something, please!” Terushima whines. Daichi walks over to the bed and lays down next to the Johzenji captain on his side. “Ushiwaka, join the cuddle pile!” Kuroo says and pulls Ushijima down next to him, knowing the boy to be too awkward and self-conscious to do it himself. “Oikawa, get your cute ass over here,” Bokuto adds. “You, too, Precious!”

 

The two pretty setters ‘join the cuddle pile’, as Kuroo so eloquently put it, and Daishou and Terushima let out another set of twin groans. “Don’t know why I ever agreed to join that group chat,” the Nohebi captain whispers. “You love us~!” Bokuto sing-songs, pressing an obnoxious kiss to Daishou’s cheek.

 

“We need to go soon; places to see, people to do,” Oikawa comments, looking at his nails like he doesn't have a care in the world. “Yes, let's do that. Hopefully it would involve me getting oxygen,” Daishou comments. “Oh please, we all know you like it rough,” Kuro mutters and the Nohebi captain gasps.

 

“Tetsu-chan, such vulgar language! And around your impressionable boyfriend, too.” 

 

“I'm hungry!” Bokuto interrupts, snapping his head up and nearly headbutting Oikawa. He squirms around until he's hanging off the bed. “Let's go!” He exclaims happily, flailing his arms out. 

 

^^^

 

“In true Seijoh tradition, I believe we should play a game of truth or dare,” Oikawa says. They're sitting around on the side of a beach. It was cooler out lately, so there weren't any other people there. Apparently, Moniwa had suggested this, and Oikawa thought it was a great idea (not that anyone would ever disagree with Moniwa; he was too cute).

 

“Really?” Daichi asks, grimacing a little. “Hey, your team ruined my chances of beating that bastard Ushiwaka, so you have to suffer through this.” He turns to Moniwa. “Precious; truth or dare?”

 

“Truth?” Moniwa replies, his voice unsure. “Have you ever had a crush on someone from another team?” Oikawa asks. Moniwa sputters, his eyes flickering to Daichi for a split second before he looks down at his hands. “Y-Yeah, maybe a little bit.” Oikawa smiles evilly, and Moniwa gives him a pleading look. “U-Um, Ushijima, truth or dare?” 

 

“Truth, I guess,” the Shiratorizawa captain shrugs. “Ugh, you guys are so boring,” Terushima groans, dropping his head onto Daishou’s shoulder. “What are your true feelings towards Oikawa?” Moniwa asks, crisscrossing his legs and resting his chin in his hand. Oikawa gasps.

 

“He's a very talented player, and I feel as though he would've done well at Shiratorizawa,” Ushijima says. Oikawa starts to stand up, opening his mouth to defend himself, but Ushijima interrupts. “However, he clearly found a good team at Aoba Johsai. Even though he would have prospered at my school, he was happy at his.” 

 

“What the hell, Ushiwaka?!” Oikawa asks, clearly confused. “Satori and I were talking, and he pointed it out to me,” Ushijima says. “He also pointed out, rather insistently, I might add, that you and I would never be able to share the spotlight. He said you were too self-centered,” he adds. 

 

“ _ I'm  _ self-centered?! Has he listened to himself lately? He thinks he's so fucking great-”

 

“Sawamura, truth or dare?” 

 

“Truth.”

 

“Wait, don't ignore me!”

 

“How does Hinata Shoyo jump so high? He's around the height of your libero, isn’t he?” 

 

Daichi shrugs a little. “Well, he does ride his bike along a mountain path everyday to get to school, and he’s been building up his thigh muscles since he was in middle school,” he replies. Bokuto gasps like a five year old, yelling out, ‘he’s just like his daddy!’. Daichi reaches over and pushes at him, causing a yelp from the Fukurodani captain as he latches onto Kuroo’s arm.

 

“Terushima, truth or dare?”

 

“Ah, fuck yeah. Dare.”

 

“Kiss Daishou!” Oikawa yells, slapping a hand over Daichi’s mouth. “Um, I-I think Sawamura-kun is supposed to say—” Daishou is cut off by Terushima basically jumping on him, pressing their lips together. Daishou’s eyes widen and he makes a small sound of protest before fluttering his eyelashes shut and melting into the kiss. 

 

And this is all well and good; very non-voyeurism-y, until Daishou’s hand goes under Terushima’s shirt and Moniwa pulls the Johzenji captain back while covering his eyes. 

 

“Okay, you two were about to roll into the fire. Let’s keep this PG,” Moniwa says nervously, avoiding eye contact with both of them. Daishou hides his face in Terushima’s chest, his entire face red. “Rated PG for ‘pretty gay’,” he says and Daishou’s shoulders shake with laughter. “Um… Owl Dad, truth or dare?” Bokuto perks up.

 

“Um… truth!”

 

“What is your… favorite thing about my other dads?”

 

Bokuto smiles, starting to bounce in his seat. “Okay, well, obviously, they’re perfect all around, but my favorite thing about Tetsurou is that he listens to me and he’s my bro and he’ll always be there for me and his hair is  _ really  _ soft, even though it doesn’t look like it!” Bokuto lets out a deep breath. Kuroo blushes and puts his face in his hands.

 

“And Akaashi is, like,  _ super  _ smart and he always knows what to do if I’m upset and he knows just how to handle my moods and stuff! And Kenma is just  _ adorable  _ and he and I actually get along really well because I’m much better than Kuroo at video games—”

 

“Fuck you!”

 

“And he’s really sweet and cute like a kitten!” 

 

Terushima smiles. “What about you, Cat Dad?” 

 

“Don’t you only get one question?” 

 

“Well, Bo is just adorable,” Kuroo says, smiling at his boyfriend. “He’s actually precious, and he’s my princess.” Bokuto smiles widely, kissing Kuroo’s cheek. “Akaashi is just perfect. He’s pretty and nice and he actually used to call me ‘pain-in-the-ass-Kuroo-san’; still does, sometimes, actually. And Kenma has been my best friend since we were little, and I think I’ve just always loved him. Everything about him is amazing,” he says. Bokuto rests his head on Kuroo’s shoulder.

 

“Fuck you guys,” Daishou says. Kuroo smiles teasingly at him and wraps his arm around Bokuto’s shoulders. Daishou flips him off. “What are you complaining about? You’ve at least got Undercut,” Oikawa mutters. Moniwa puts his hand on top of the other setter’s.

 

“Yeah, he’s hot as hell,” Daishou comments, leaning back. Terushima gasps. “That’s all I am to you? A pretty face?” Daishou smiles and pokes Terushima’s cheek. “And choice other things,” he says. Terushima pouts. “Fine. That makes my decision between you and Kenji easier,” he huffs. Daishou frowns, wrapping his arms around Terushima’s waist. “No,” he says, pouting. 

 

“What do you see in him, Teru?” Kuroo asks. Terushima looks down at Daishou, who squeezes him tighter. “He’s cute as a fucking button,” he replies. Daishou smiles, pecking Terushima on the lips. “So are you.” “Gross.” “Kuro-chan is right, fucking disgusting.

 

“And how is your bara, Precious?” Oikawa asks. Moniwa smiles. “He’s actually a big teddy bear. I love him a lot. He’s, like,  _ insanely  _ good at cuddling,” he says. “And other things?” Daishou asks with a smirk. Moniwa blushes, looking down. “I-I’m not into that sort of thing,” he whispers, embarrassed. Daishou seems to catch on, as he nods in understanding. “Cool. Sorry about that.”

 

“You-You get it?” Moniwa asks, surprised. “Yeah. Seguro, our middle blocker, is the same way. He’s biromantic,” Daishou replies, shrugging. “It’s cool.”

 

“I know what Ushiwaka-chan likes about his stupid Guess Monster, and we don’t have nearly enough time for Daichi to start talking about Mr. Refreshing,” Oikawa says, rolling his eyes. “And that leaves you!” Bokuto says happily. 

 

Oikawa raises an eyebrow at him. “For what?”

 

“You’re favorite thing about your date mate,” Kuroo says, smirking. “I mean, what’s your favorite thing about that beautiful ace of yours?”

 

“What kind of ace, because that could refer to two different things,” Oikawa says. “In terms of sexuality, my favorite ace would have to be Precious,  _ obviously _ —” “We’re not talking about sexuality,” Moniwa interrupts. Oikawa sends him a betrayed look. “Iwaizumi,” Ushijima says simply. Daichi nods. “You two are practically married, and I’m not that great at picking up on vibes. I didn’t even know that Shimizu was gay until she told us that she was dating Yachi,” he says, “what do you like most about him?”

 

Oikawa shakes his head. “I’m not doing this,” he says. “Iwa-chan and I aren’t—” 

 

“I know what my favorite thing about him is,” Daishou says. Oikawa looks up at him,  _ knowing  _ he’s up to something. “Those arms. I want him to punch me in the face.”

 

“And I ain’t even mad,” Terushima adds. “I’d love to get punched by Iwaizumi.”

 

“It would be an honor,” Bokuto says. Kuroo nods. “I like his arms, too. He’d be great at giving hugs,” Moniwa says.

 

“Okay, okay, fine! My favorite thing is that he’s always there for me no matter how annoying I am and how I know that he’ll never leave,” Oikawa mumbles. “That’s adorable,” Kuroo says. They all sit in silence for a few minutes until Daichi checks his phone. “Shit, it’s 6:45 already! You guys have to go!” 

 

Kuroo, Bokuto, and Daishou all exchange a look before jumping up. Daishou takes Terushima’s hand and gestures for the other Miyagi captains to follow them. “C’mon, bitches, or I’ll spray you all with a hose!”


	7. futamata takeharu is not a pretty setter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moniwa is an insistent cuddler, a pretty setters' groupchat, Terushima cannot handle Daishou Suguru's level of cute, Bokuto and Kuroo are dating the cutest setters ever, Oikawa is single and bitter, and Daichi is calling in the big guns.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want Moniwa to get a lot of cuddles and Daishou to get more love and Oikawa to be happy with Iwa-chan and my meme sons to find out who tops in Iwaoi

**Kuroo’s babe:** WELL THAT WAS THE BOMB DOT COM

 

 **tongue ring:** shut the hell up its too early my ears cant read that loud

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** wut

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Bokuto’s right, though. That was pretty fun.

 

 **precious:** yeah! :)

 

 **queen bitch:** fuckin hell youre adorable i hate you

 

 **precious:** Wait… you hate me?

 

 **precious:** But… we’re pretty setters

 

 **precious:** setters gotta stick together, right?

 

 **queen bitch:** YES THEY DO SWEETIE PIE IM SO SORRY

 

 **sneaky snek:** oikawa says he hates people to let them know he loves them

 

 **sneaky snek:** thats why he says he hates wakatoshi all the time

 

 **queen bitch:** what the fuck no

 

 **papa swan:** That is good to know, Oikawa. I have a high regard for you as well

 

 **queen bitch:** NO

 

 **tongue ring:** y’all wheres kuroo at

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** hes on a date w akaashi theyre vv cute i love them

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** and kenma and i are hanging out and playing video games and hes also vv cute

 

 **sneaky snek:** just video games, boku-chan? ;)

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** i said video games and chill but were actually playing video games and chillin so its all good

 

 **precious:** my lovely takanoboo and i are netflix and chill-ing

 

 **precious:** But instead of the whole sex part we cuddling

 

 **precious:** He’s reading over my shoulder so play nice i told him you guys were cool

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Hi, Aone-kun!

 

 **precious:** He’s so shy omg he’s adorable my heart

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** mha hart mah sole

 

 **papa swan:** Ha.

 

 **tongue ring:** holY FUCK DID USHI JUST SHOW EMOTION

 

 **sneaky snek:** *SCREENSHOTS 38256039246012361 TIMES*

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** I CRI EVERYTIEM

 

 **queen bitch:** YOURE SUCH A FUCKING MEME USHIWAKA WHAT THE ACTUAL SHIT

 

 **stressed dadchi:** I don’t get it.

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** _[picture attached]_

 

 **stressed dadchi:**...What am I looking at?

 

 **queen bitch:** moniwa rn

 

 **sneaky snek:** #confirmed

 

 **precious:** I aint even mad

 

 **sneaky snek:** TOORU PICK A COLOR BLACK OR MAROON

 

 **sneaky snek:** QUICK IM AT THE NAIL SALON AND HIROO AND SAKI R GLARING AT ME TO HURRY MY ASS UP

 

 **queen bitch:** maroon

 

 **queen bitch:** itd look hot

 

 **sneaky snek:** THX BABE LUV YA

 

 **queen bitch:** np

 

 **queen bitch:** now i wanna get my nails done

 

 **queen bitch:** precious lets hit up that pretty setters chat i wanna get them seijoh nails

 

 **precious:** Right now?

 

 **queen bitch:** sure

 

 **precious:** But I’m being cuddled…

 

 **queen bitch:** fine well do it later this week

 

 **stressed dadchi:** There’s a pretty setters group chat?

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Why was I not informed?

 

 **queen bitch:** because youre… not a setter?

 

 **stressed dadchi:** But Suga’s in it, right?

 

 **precious:** yeah

 

 **queen bitch:** so?

 

 **stressed dadchi:** sO HE NEVER TALKS ABOUT IT

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** o shit waddup

 

 **papa swan:** Semi is in the group chat, too

 

 **papa swan:** And Shirabu.

 

 **papa swan:** I imagine its a warzone, if the impressions I’m picking up from their interactions are correct

 

 **precious:** It is a warzone

 

 **queen bitch:** bloodshed

 

 **precious:** We have to hold them back

 

 **tongue ring:** ummmm why wasnt my setter invited to this???

 

 **queen bitch:** dude who even is your setter

 

 **tongue ring:** HIS NAME IS FUTAMATA TAKEHARU AND HES ONE OF MY BEST FRIENDS

 

 **queen bitch:** yes but is he a pretty setter

 

 **tongue ring:** HELL YEAH HE IS

 

 **tongue ring:** HE HAS BEAUTIFUL HAIR AND ITS BLACK AND ITS LIKE FUCK WHADYACALLIT

 

 **tongue ring:** FUCKIN BEACHY WAVES

 

 **tongue ring:** OR LIKE WIND BLOWN OR SOMESHIT

 

 **tongue ring:** AND HES GOT REALLY PRETTY EYES

 

 **tongue ring:** SO FUK YOU SHITTYKAWA

 

 **queen bitch:** chill

 

 **tongue ring:** IM ALWAYS CHILL

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** lmao

 

 **tongue ring:** BOKUTO

 

 **tongue ring:** SHUT THE HELL UP

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** lol

 

 **tongue ring:** IM NOT PLAYIN THESE GAMES

 

 **papa swan:** Hey guys guess what

 

 **precious:** Oohhh i love me some guessing games

 

 **papa swan:** Satori and I are going out tonight so please don’t blow up my phone

 

 **queen bitch:** oh ushiwaka i would NEVER

 

 **papa swan:** Thank you Oikawa

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** WHERE ARE YOU GUYS GOING

 

 **papa swan:** He’s taking us to this American restaurant he likes that apparently is ‘the shit’. Then he said we can go back to his house because his parents won’t be there

 

 **tongue ring:** ooh la la

 

 **queen bitch:** speak japanese the hell is wrong with you

 

 **tongue ring:** itS FRENCH GOD IM BEING EXOTIC

 

 **tongue ring:** DONT TEST ME IM STILL PISSED AT YOU SAYING FUTA WASNT PRETTY

 

 **stressed dadchi:** What are you going to do at his house?

 

 **papa swan:** I’m not quite sure. He just told me then winked and put his hand on my thigh

 

 **papa swan:** But that could mean anything

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** PLEASE tell me you’re screwing withus

 

 **tongue ring:** pretty sure he’ll be screwing w tendou lololol ;)

 

 **precious:** Omg Sawamura and Ushijima are so pure

 

 **_queen bitch has changed the chat name to_ ** **_#savetheinnocence2k16._ **

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** lol

 

 **tongue ring:** is sugurus setter in the pretty setters chat

 

 **precious:** … no

 

 **tongue ring:** doNT LIE TO ME PREOCIOSUPIAN

 

 **precious:** I’m not lying!

 

 **precious:** That’s just how I type…

 

 **tongue ring:** (-＿- )ノ

 

 **queen bitch:** are you accusing precious of lying

 

 **queen bitch:** because he would never do such a thing and i am judging you so hard rn

 

 **tongue ring:** … hes in it isnt he

 

 **queen bitch:** yeah maybe

 

 **sneaky snek:** hey guys im bsck

 

 **sneaky snek:** my nsils r still deying tho

 

 **tongue ring:** i bet you look hot ;)

 

 **sneaky snek:** ;)

 

 **precious:** How are Hiroo and Sakijima?

 

 **sneaky snek:** aww precious they said that theyre great but craving bubble tea so we’re heading over there now

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** TAKE ME W YOU

 

 **tongue ring:** hey suguru

 

 **tongue ring:** whatre you wearing ;)

 

 **sneaky snek:** leggings w yuuji’s shirt

 

 **tongue ring:** fuckin fuck im dead someone catch me i  m

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** MAN DOWN MAN DOWN

 

 **papa swan:** I will phone the ambulance

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Everybody step back. I know CPR.

 

 **precious:** *cries SAVE HIM DAD

 

 **_queen bitch has changed the chat name to_ ** **_rip terushima yuuji_ ** **_._ **

 

 **queen bitch:** [ **https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhjNm20XbXw** ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhjNm20XbXw)

 

 **papa swan:** This took a very dark turn

 

 **queen bitch:** energetic, enthusiastic, and fucking annoying

 

 **queen bitch:** these are all words that decribed terushima yuuji

 

 **precious:** *cries into my booboo’s chest and makes him cuddle me

 

 **queen bitch:** and now a word from thighchi god bless

 

 **stressed dadchi:** I tried my best, but it didn’t work out. Soz

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** WAIT A SEC SOZ

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** DAD OMG HA AHAHBDHAHABSHA

 

 **queen bitch:** and now we will lower the body into the grave

 

 **queen bitch:** ps this grave has a motion sensor so anyone who walks by it will hear ‘stayin alive’ as per terus last wish

 

 **sneaky snek:** lmao

 

 **precious:** The grieving widow has arrived

 

 **sneaky snek:** like up that ig me and mah baes look hot as fuck

 

 **tongue ring:** waKE ME UP

 

 **sneaky snek:** WAKR ME UP INSDIE

 

 **queen bitch:** okay goals

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** what… the actual…

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** a pretty setters groupchat, daichi and ushiwaka being pure as fuckin angels, and my son dying????

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** anD USHIWAKA LAUGHING AT MEMES???????

 

 **precious:** thats what you missed on glee

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** i AM SO ANGRY?????

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** but i got to spend time with a fuckin beauty so yall bitches lose this round HA

 

 **sneaky snek:** gee this chat just got lower in IQ imma leave

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** bite me

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** hes being sarcastic dont actually bite him

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** btw bro how was your date with akaashi

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** it was amazing i love him so so much

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** we went to the movies and we sat in the back and it was awesome because he kept roasting all the actors lol

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** how was your stay at home date with kenma?

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** super chill we just played video games then took a nap then woke up and played more video games

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** OH and we ordered takeout but kenma didnt eat much on his own so i fed him as he was playing and then you guys came back home and now were all cuddling

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** and yeah… thats it

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** thats adorable i love you

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** i love you too

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** no homo? ;)

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** full homo ;)

 

 **queen bitch:** get a room yall nasties

 

 **Bokuto’s babe:** we’re in a room ;)))))

 

 **Kuroo’s babe:** ohohohohohohohohoho ;))))))))

 

 **queen bitch:** who wants to be single and bitter w me????

 

 **sneaky snek:** ill play along

 

 **tongue ring:** D:

 

 **queen bitch:** i hate people in relationships

 

 **queen bitch:** like no one wants to see that???? go away????

 

 **sneaky snek:** i feel u

 

 **tongue ring:** D:

 

 **papa swan:** I do not understand why you are agreeing Daishou

 

 **sneaky snek:** bc bae is sad and i gotta be there for him

 

 **precious:** Seems legit

 

 **queen bitch:** aND ANOTHER THING PEOple dating other people is so confusing like why would one do that theres no guarantee that the person wont leave you or cheat on you so why set yourself up for that if you know youre just gonna get hurt????

 

 **tongue ring:** deep

 

 **sneaky snek:** i    a m emo,,,,,

 

 **stressed dadchi:** This is getting annoying, Oikawa. I’m calling in the big guns.

 

 **queen bitch:** what

 

 **queen bitch:** dont ignore me what do you mean

 

 **queen bitch:** somEONE EXPLAIN

 

 **queen bitch:** NAKED AND AFRAID SOMEONE HALP

 

 **queen bitch:** DAICHIIIIIIII

 

^^^

 

 **_stressed dadchi has added_ ** **_hiroislovehiroislife_ ** **_to the chat._ **

 

 **_stressed dadchi has added_ ** **_i.sin.w.issei_ ** **_to the chat._ **

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Okay. Long story short. I assume you know about Oikawa’s crush on Iwaizumi.

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** no way

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** le gasp 

 

 **stressed dadchi:** I need to recruit your help. Talk to Iwaizumi. I know he’ll listen to you guys.

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** and why would we help you

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** yeah. we wanted to go to nationals and beat shiratorizawa just as much as oikawa did

 

 **stressed dadchi:** … Really? You won’t help?

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** we’re just kiddin fam

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** yea we got you

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** its annoying as fuck the way they dance around their feelings

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** and we’ve shipped it since day one

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** we waNNA KNOW WHO TOPS

 

 **stressed dadchi:** Okay… then I guess I’ll just… leave you to it then…

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** oh hell yeah we got this

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** b4 we do this i want you to know i love you hiro

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** and your ass is hella fine

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** now that we got that out of the way lets do this

 

^^^

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** HERE COME DAT BOIKAWA

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** O SHIT WADDUP

 

 **hajime iwaizumom:** And what do you two want

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** besides some tender loving care from our FAVE ace

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** for you and oikawa to do the proverbial tango

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** the dance w no pants

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** some baby makin

 

 **hajime iwaizumom:** What???

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** use a condom or u’ll get pregnant and die

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** AS MUCH AS I WANNA BE AN UNCLE YOU AINT READY TO BE A FTHER IWACHAN

 

 **hajime iwaizumom:** Dont call me that

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** ohhhh iwachan ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

 **hajime iwaizumom:** Shut your face hole what is this about

 

 **i.sin.w.issei:** your boikawa

 

 **hajime iwaizumom:** My what

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** look at what daichi sent me iz about your repressed love life

 

 **hiroislovehiroislife:** _[picture attached]_

 

 **hajime iwaizumom:** Shit…

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> D:


	8. NEXT GEN CAPTAINS :P

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oikawa has a drink (because he deserves it), Tokyo Trio spy on Johzenji (!!!), Daishou wears spandex because he's just hot like that, no one has ever heard of Johzenji Academy, Terushima expresses his concern for Shirabu, Goshiki Tsutomu is a Demi Swan Princess, and Terushima creates the next mistake.
> 
> I mean, the next gen captains' group chat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU TO THOSE OF YOU WHO READ AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO GAVE IT KUDOS AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO COMMENTED AND TO THOSE OF YOU WHO BOOKMARKED I LOVE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU

**queen bitch:** EVERYONE MAKE WAY I AM UNTOUCHABLE RN

 

**queen bitch:** IM ON CLOUD FUCKIN NINEE

 

**queen bitch:** SMOENON I WANNA TALK ABOUT MY HAPPINESSSSSS

 

**papa swan:** Why are you so happy?

 

**queen bitch:** OB WHAT THE HELL ILL TAK IT

 

**queen bitch:** BC USHIWAKA IWACHAN IS NOW MY RESIDENT BABEEEEEE

 

**sneaky snek:** awwwwww goals

 

**precious:** IM SO HAPPY FOR YOUUUUUUU

 

**queen bitch:** IM SO HAPPY FOR ME TOOOOOOO

 

**queen bitch:** IMMA GET A DRINK

 

**queen bitch:** I DESERVE IT

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** oikawa is that aunt that gets way too drunk at parties #confirmed

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** “well tooru, you tried hard, and you earned that wine” -- Oikawa Tooru, 2016

 

**tongue ring:** HOLD UP

 

**tongue ring:** REWIND

 

**tongue ring:** “i hate people in relationships”

Oikawa Tooru, 7:36

 

**tongue ring:** “like no one wants to see that???? go away????”

Oikawa Tooru, 7:37

 

**tongue ring:** “aND ANOTHER THING PEOple dating other people is so confusing like why would one do that theres no guarantee that the person wont leave you or cheat on you so why set yourself up for that if you know youre just gonna get hurt????”

Oikawa Tooru, 7:39

 

**tongue ring:** id on t

 

**queen bitch:** god teru that was so two hours ago get w the times

 

**tongue ring:** whatevs i gotta go practice

 

**tongue ring:** with our PRETTY SETTER

 

**sneaky snek:** oh u talkin bout that chat saki’s in

 

**tongue ring:** i m donnne   e 

 

^^^

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** HEY HEY HEY EVERYONE

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** and welcome to the tokyo captains trio time!!!!

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** (this is so against my will ugh)

 

**sneaky snek:** today we are going all the way to miyagi to see the unknown-to-everyone johzenji academy practice!!!!!

 

**sneaky snek:** (im cringing tetsu)

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** YES bc teru is tetsurou and i’s son and daishou’s boyfriend so we’re gonna sneak in and watch him practice yayyyy!!!!!

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** (neither of you have a choice i’ve got dirt on both of you suck it HA)

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** you are evil princess

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** CURRENTLY we are sneaking into the gym

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** no one has noticed us yet lololol were in the stand balconey things

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** theyll notice us soon w daishou in fuckin spandex

 

**sneaky snek:** i look hot fuck you

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** i think stealing terus sweater was a little much

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** his legs do look great

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** fuck they do

 

**sneaky snek:** ;)

 

**sneaky snek:** what even is johzenji

 

**sneaky snek:** theyre in two on two and listening to music

 

**sneaky snek:** i can feel the bass from here

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** omg lady gaga came on

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** fuck how does he dance and play at the same time

 

**sneaky snek:** hes so cute aww

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** HES SUCH A GOOD SINGER?????

 

**sneaky snek:** hed be one of those douches at college w the guitar out in the courtyard

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** OOOHHH W A SNAPBACK

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** and super skinny jeans

 

**sneaky snek:** they took a break im goin in

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** yoU STUPID SNAKE FUCKER GET BACK HERE

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** ABORT ABORT

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** oh fuck he drew all the attention to himself

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** aww theyre hugging cuteeee

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** and kissies awwww

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** that middle blocker that looks like daichis pinch server is staring at his ass lmao

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** well das r00d

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** THEIR POOR MANAGER I CANT

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** SHE LOOKS LIKE KARASUNOS FIRST YEAR 

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** BUT LIkE REVVED UP

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** their setter is pretty

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** he is

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** wait

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** are we seriosuly texting rn 

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** shit

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** mkay talk to me bby

 

^^^

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** lol teru saw us bc the snake fuck told him where we were hiding so now we got ice cream

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** i got something called the breakfast in bed

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** it tastes like bacon and bourbon and diabetes

 

**sneaky snek:** lol i got strawberry

 

**tongue ring:** we BOTH got strawberry were sharing it cuz this boi is fuckin adorable

 

**sneaky snek:** ♥‿♥

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** your middle blocker was staring at his ass lol

 

**tongue ring:** … 

 

**tongue ring:** excuse for a minute fine gentlemen

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** shit thats why i wasnt gonna tell him

 

**queen bitch:** well arent you guys just peas in a pod

 

**sneaky snek:** hey babe

 

**queen bitch:** wassup sweet thang

 

**stressed dadchi:** So you’ll go to Terushima’s practice… but not your own team’s?

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** my team has no idea johzenji even exists lmao

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** SAME HERE

 

**tongue ring:** ouch

 

**stressed dadchi:** Did you finish yelling at your best friend?

 

**tongue ring:** why yes i did thank you

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** NO BUT they know dateko because of their blocking, they know fukurodani bc we hang out loads, they obviously know ushiwaka and oikawa, they know the snake fuck bc he and i hate each other, and they know karasuno bc…. crows

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** literally same i told my team about teru bein in the chat and they were like ‘huh’

 

**sneaky snek:** honestly when i told  my team i was dating the johzenji captain they went blank for a second

 

**tongue ring:** buT WERE THE PARTY TEAM

 

**tongue ring:** WE WENT UP AGAINST USHIWAKA IN THE SEMIFINALS OF THE INTERHIGH

 

**papa swan:** I believe I have a brief memory of that

 

**tongue ring:** THEIR FUCKING SETTER IS SO TINY LIKE WHAT THE HELL

 

**tongue ring:** USHIWAKA DOES HE EAT?????

 

**papa swan:** Shirabu?

 

**papa swan:** I think he does. Semi would force him to if he didn’t 

 

**queen bitch:** aww senpai actually does care about his kouhai the love story pt 2

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** whos pt 1

 

**queen bitch:** your giant middle blocker and tiny libero

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** ayyyyeeee yakulev

 

**queen bitch:** ayyyyeeeee

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** ayeyyeee

 

**tongue ring:** also your redhead middle blocker made me angry

 

**tongue ring:** he and bobata had some intense glarin going on

 

**tongue ring:** some sorta middle blocker battle or smth

 

**papa swan:** Satori does tend to rile up the opponent

 

**queen bitch:** and his own team if you get what im sayin ;))))))

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** oikawa tooru: making all the sex jokes ushiwaka cant since 1997

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** or 98 idek

 

**tongue ring:** also also your little first year hes so cute aww

 

**tongue ring:** his haircut is precious

 

**tongue ring:** but even if his sexuality isnt straight his spikes are

 

**papa swan:** Well, he and Kawanishi are pretty close

 

**papa swan:** I’ve never seen Goshiki show any interest in anyone other than Kawanishi

 

**papa swan:** I believe he told us about it once

 

**papa swan:** Satori knows. Let me ask him

 

**stressed dadchi:** They would actually look pretty good together.

 

**sneaky snek:** awww baby ace and his senpai

 

**queen bitch:** dudes i never knew that number 12 could show emotion like what

 

**papa swan:** hey yall tendou here

 

**papa swan:** aww papa swan thats adorable

 

**papa swan:** love him so much

 

**queen bitch:** cmon hop to it guess monster

 

**papa swan:** -_-

 

**papa swan:** okay so tsutomu explained to us that he ‘will date anyone who he feels like he can really trust’

 

**papa swan:** being the ultra amazing senpai that i am, i read him smth that sounded like what he said

 

**papa swan:** he said that he feels like hes demisexual and demiromantic

 

**papa swan:** he just doesnt get crushes or wanna do the sexy times until he really trusts a person

 

**sneaky snek:** THATS SO CUTE 

 

**stressed dadchi:** My friend Shimizu is like that. If Goshiki wants, I could give him her Skype.

 

**papa swan:** YOUR SUPER HOT MANAGER UMM I THINK HE WOULD LOVE THAT

 

**papa swan:** tsutomu loves when pretty people acknowledge him lmao

 

**papa swan:** okay and back to wakatoshi-kun

 

**queen bitch:** ugh i dont know which is worse

 

**papa swan:** Hello again everyone

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** HI USHIWAKA

 

**precious:** I love it when this chat gets deep

 

**precious:** Guys if Futakuchi was in this chat he would loathe this lol he’s so emotionally constipated

 

**tongue ring:** DONT WORRY WHEN I MAKE THE NEXT GROUP CHAT ILL MAKE SURE HE HAS FEELINGS

 

**Bokuto’s babe:** DO IT NOW AND SEND US THE DEETS

 

**Kuroo’s babe:** GO NOW GO RUN

 

**tongue ring:** OKAY

 

**queen bitch:** for some reason i feel as though yahaba-kun and shirabu-kun wont get along

 

**papa swan:** Shirabu told me that he would ‘continue the rivalry’

 

**papa swan:** I am not quite sure of what he means

 

**queen bitch:** well shit

 

^^^

 

**_tongue ring has added_ ** **_shirabooboo_ ** **_to_ ** **_NEXT GEN CAPTAINS :P_ ** **_._ **

 

**_tongue ring has added_ ** **_creampuff_ ** **_to_ ** **_NEXT GEN CAPTAINS :P_ ** **_._ **

 

**_tongue ring has added_ ** **_★ MILF ★_ ** **_to_ ** **_NEXT GEN CAPTAINS :P_ ** **_._ **

 

**_tongue ring has added_ ** **_leonardo_ ** **_to_ ** **_NEXT GEN CAPTAINS :P_ ** **_._ **

 

**_tongue ring has added_ ** **_Akaashi Keiji_ ** **_to_ ** **_NEXT GEN CAPTAINS :P_ ** **_._ **

 

**_tongue ring has added_ ** **_fukunaga :3_ ** **_to_ ** **_NEXT GEN CAPTAINS :P_ ** **_._ **

 

**tongue ring:** HI EVERYONE

 

**tongue ring:** ARE YOU READY TO HAVE A GOOD TIME

 

**leonardo:** with you, teru, always. ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh ps I've already started writing the next gen captains' group chat so lmk if you want to see that


End file.
